How can I get my 41 years old step son to move out with out making my husband mad at me?

Why did you marry him knowing his son still lived at home? Was there a plan in place for him to move out?

Have you talked to your husband about this and, if so, what is his response?

You knew what you were getting into when you married this man. If he hasn't kicked his son out by now I don't see it happening.

Does this son have a job?
Is he mentally challenged?
So what was the plan before you married? Obviously you knew he lived there. Did you and your husband discuss this at all?

deal with it. You cant marry a man knowing he comes with baggage and then expect him to change things

If it's something you thought you could live with but now that turns out not to be true, tell your husband it's a deal breaker, and then be prepared to break the deal if you have to.

It doesn't sound like there is anything you can do. He was there before you.

agree with all of the above.

I take it they are lived together for a long time before you came along , is this something you talked about before you married him?? Your the new person in this situation not the son, and you knew the arrangements before marrying/moving in, I could understand it more if he wasn't living there when you married. I agree it's very old to live at home but I think it's different when parents are separated it was more like 2 bachelors living together until you got married , it should have been talked about upfront at the beginning because now he is probably going to be blind sighted by the fact of you having issue with it. There is no easy way to say it just talk openly about your feelings.

It can be worked out. Talk to your husband about it and don't say anything to his son, that's your husband's place to speak with him. Let them work it out. Hugs! Hang in there.