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5 Bumps

Met his ex...

We went to his Christmas party last night for his work. She was there. I figured hey, when are we ever in the same room together? So I went up to her and introduced myself as Keven's fiance and told her I hope she has a fun night. She acted like I had no right to even look at her let alone speak to her. I figured it was the adult thing to do since she claims she's uncomfortable with him and I's relationship.

I'm trying to do the "kill her with kindness" thing, even though I hate the bitch.

So, was it childish to introduce myself or should I have waited for her to make the first move (which she was not going to do).

Answer Question
 
SaraD1989

Asked by SaraD1989 at 9:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,457 Credits)
Answers (56)
  • I guess you making that move because "she claims she's uncomfortable with" the relationship doesn't make much sense to me. Maybe you were thinking that you could change it, or lessen her discomfort, if you introduced yourself???

    I thought maybe it was a typo that should have read "she claims she's comfortable" as THAT would make more sense to me--going ahead & introducing yourself since she claims to be OK with things. And to me, that's what it sounded like she was trying to convey before, when she said she didn't feel a need to meet you since she didn't have concerns or discomfort with you being around the baby. (To me that sounded more along the lines of being reasonably comfortable, and clarifying that the issues or reluctance were about comfort zone with visitation changes in general, not the particulars of who is there, or difficulty with him moving on.)

    I don't know what you "should" have done. But it's probably OK.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:45 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Well I am gone for over a week and this is still going on. I really think you ought to find a relationship that you will be happier in.
    IMO you were wrong to approach her at a festivity that is work related. The sound of this post is mean and spiteful There was nothing she could do since this event is evidently related to her job. You put her in an acquard spot where her coworkers and employer were fairly close at hand, even if she wasn't talking to one of them at the moment. I do not think from you previous posts, that everyone else that you come in contact with ( connected to this man) can be so mean, wrong etc. I think I would do some soul searching if I were you and see why it is that you feel that every person this man knows is out to get you or your child or your relationship. What a way to live.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Well I'm not sure why YOU hate her, she isn't YOUR ex and unless she has done you wrong then you have no right to dislike someone based on the fact they are your lovers EX that is childish and I don't blame her for being rude I would find it VERY rude for someone to introduce theirselves as so and so WOMEN get over it, you could have just introduced yourself as your name how RUDE
    mama2gg

    Answer by mama2gg at 11:02 AM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • He said he was glad I did it. He's been manning up and taking care of it. Even filed for a custody order. I only said "Kevin's fiance" because I didn't know if she would know who "Sara" was. I said, "Hi, I'm Sara, Kevin's fiance."
    SaraD1989

    Comment by SaraD1989 (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Well maybe she looked at you crazy because she knew it wasnt sincere, she probably knows you "hate" her so why kill her with kindness. Maybe you should have introduced youself in a normal way with your name, minus the whole Kevens fiance bit, now that may have been more adult, especially seeing you already know she is uncomfortable.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:19 AM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Has anything been said to you, from her or your fiance, about your impromptu introduction? If not, don't sweat it. Its done and over..

    Personally, I wouldn't be a part of this triangle....if the ex can't get over him, you'd better be in for more battles. He needs to man-up and take care of this.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 12:04 AM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • I've tried every which way to see things from her side, but she refuses to accept that he's moved on, among other things she does. I didn't approach her around other people.
    SaraD1989

    Comment by SaraD1989 (original poster) at 11:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • I think you probably felt like you needed to take the opportunity while you could, but chose to approach her when she was talking to someone so that you wouldn't have to be left alone with her. I don't know that you did that for her benefit. I think it would have been better to wait and then approach her when she was between mingling.

    On one hand I think it was probably the wrong time, but considering you don't have other opportunities I can see how you felt it was the time to do it.
    As for thinking she is a bitch, I think you aren't looking at things from her side of the situation.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:07 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • She's ignoring everyone, lol
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 11:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • So, why do you hate her?
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

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