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HELP how do i get control back from my three year old twins??

so the past several months have been an extremely hard time for my family and myself
discipline has gone by the way side and i'm basically screwed up, i'll admit it.

I have three year old twin boys, one of which runs the show.
I'm a single mom, I'm in school full time and am about to start a part time job.

I'm not sure I need to go into detail about my boys but in a nutshell they (mostly Tyler) run the show, get what they want when they want it etc. they're at my parents house a lot of the time because my parents help me out A LOT so i'm able to stay in school. i know my mom would be half on board with changing things up to get control back from the three year olds but i know she wont be consistant

however i'm still willing to try, so i have control at least at our house

i know I need to be consistant, I know i need to convey to my boys that I"M in control, not them. but I really don't know where to start.

I've tried a reward chart but the idea of how they earn their sticker has been so broad that its not been consistant.

ive considered taking away all of their toys and giving them a small box of thinsg to play with and making them earn stickers so at the end of the day they can have one toy back... or something like that?

I feel like i need a concrete plan to follow ... i need guidance i need a starting point...

what should i do?
what worked for you?

things have to change because I want my boys to be happy and understand boundaries i dont want them to grow up to be brats because they're very very sweet, and they deserve better

Answer Question

Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 2:48 PM on Dec. 9, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I guess I'd just tell you to lay down the law. Three is NOT too young to understand there are rules with consequences. Sit them down, tell them the rules and consequences and start implementing your punishment. Don't be afraid to get tough mom. If they are bad now, just think about what will happen when they get to be teenagers... do you want that? That should scare you into realization and a quick plan.
    Put them in their rooms and don't let them out until they behave.

    Answer by m-avi at 4:10 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • What do they do that you don't like?

    YOU are the boss, but unfortunately you are out numbered! Maybe disciplining them seperately? I'd cruise to the library and get some books on it!

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:14 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • What's bothering you, primarily?

    You mention them running the show, them getting what they want when they want it, them being in control (not you), and you mention reward charts & possible punishments.

    Is it that they don't listen & aren't responsive? They don't cooperate with you? (Thus rewards & punishments coming to mind.)
    Or is it more that they insist on things (food, activities, etc.) going their way & you have trouble with bossiness or opposition from them?
    Or is it more issues you have with their reactions & behavior when things AREN'T going their way (or whenever you try to hold a firm limit with them), and you have a hard time dealing with their demands & their upsets?


    For a lot of the potential issues I can imagine, a shift in automatic responses to the problem behaviors/situations can be transforming in lasting ways, without focusing on & relying on imposing consequences in order to force change.

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:44 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

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