Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what do you do with the sometimes dad?

my soon to be ex- husband will just up and vanish for months at a time and leave our son completely heart broken. they were never apart up until a year and a half ago and then he just vanished for six months. i had no clue where he went. then out of the blue he calls or stops by. what should i do to help my son with his sometimes dad??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Depends on your sons age. With mine their dad kinda did the same thing so I went and got sole custody that way I didnt have to worry about asking dear ole dad for his opinion and legally was able to make decisions on my own. I also had them set up guidelines for visits and calls. It made everything a bit more stable for my kids.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:36 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • explain to the dad that although you are adult enough to know that he is an idiot,your son isnt so behaviour like that still hurts him alot.i dont think you should keep him out of your son's life,you should just let things your son knows one day that the reason he has a certain type of relationship with his father ls only because of his dad's behaviour and not because of you.that way he cant resent you for taking his daddy away.

    Answer by 2ndtimemom605 at 7:48 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • IMO, (coming from having a 12 year old son that hasn't seen his biodad since he was 6)
    Nothing, leave it alone. The more I talked to my son the more upset he became... It's our job to be strong for them and not make excuses. I let him come to me, let him ask the questions and made sure I was honest and gave him the answers he could understand. Otherwise I think it's better to not dwell on it and live life...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Better to have no dad then one who continually breaks your heart, makes you feel unworthy, and affects your future relationship for the rest of your life. Perhaps when he gets his life back togehter...but, until then I wouldn't put my child through it.

    Answer by HelloKitty1225 at 12:44 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.