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Gender reveal family drama!

So I have a fantastic amazing relationship with my inlaws, it is a much smaller part of my family (literally think, MIL, FIL, two brother in law's and their respective wife or fiance) while my side is HUGE (20 people). My own mother is INSANELY jealous of the relationship I have with my inlaws, and my family and I have been on the outs for a few months right now over a ton of things. Mostly petty but just looming.

I had planned on having my mom and stepdad over along with my inlaws for our gender reveal party, however my mom has made some very rude comments about my inlaws (stemming from SEVER insecurities). Now I have decided that I will only be having a gender reveal party for my inlaws and am trying really hard to come up with something non invasive to do for my side of the family. This is our THIRD baby, I have never had a gender reveal party before so I am wondering without doing too much more, if you think it would be tacky to just send them a text message with an ultra sound or something better to let them know also.

Things are so bad right now, that my own sister did not invite our family to a family get together....I really don't want to spend any amount of time with them so PLEASE help me come up with something....I just don't want any part of their stress or drama...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Dec. 9, 2012 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • Personally I'd cancel the party & tell everyone the same way. Having a party just with your in-laws will make things much worse with your family when they find out.

    Answer by 3libras at 8:19 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Send them a card. Seems a little more personal and friendly versus texting them.

    I can't say I blame you. Avoid the drama at all costs!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 8:20 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • This is as much for my stepson, and his two brother's as it is for his side of the family. The problem that I keep on encountering is that I try to please EVERYONE and I end up not happy about it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:22 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Invite who you want. If your parents don't act right. Don't invite them. Simple and easy.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:33 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • I suggest you call or get together with your mother and your sister, and tell them face to face that your mother's behavior is embarrassing you, your sister leaving you out hurt your feelings, and that you are now responsible for looking out for EVERYONE's feelings, including your step-children, and think it's unfair they are so busy thinking about themselves, they have no consideration for how their behavior might make you, your step children, your husband, and his family feel. Then ask them if they are going to continue to try to alienate this new baby from his or her other side of the family as well.

    If you keep ignoring it, it's never going to get better.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • I agree with Louise2. Don't cancel the party if it's something you want to have. Keep the people arond you who build you up and make you happy, and distance yourself from the drama makers. It's their loss, and if asked, you can tell them politely that you want a party and a holiday free of arguments and discord.

    Answer by Ballad at 9:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • @NotPanicking...That's the thing, I can beat my head against the wall for days trying to get them to see why they should apologize and they NEVER will. I have found over the years that it is far much easier to just distance myself from them because they will never take me seriously and try to get over it and move on...I have always been the person in the family that you can rely on and the black sheep and it's because I try so hard to go out of my way for people so when I stop people start getting pissed at me for it, when I FINALLY put my foot down and say ENOUGH.

    I guess, in a way this is me STILL trying to appease them because if they are led to believe that godforbid my inlaws know what we are having before they know AND we have a fun will start all over again...I just don't need the stress and now I am doing it to myself!


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • Personally I would plan a party and include a note with the invites to all members of the family. State that you want this to be a joyous, memorable event and that you want nothing but happy faces and zipped lips (maybe not those and then have the party. If they decide they can not handle it, they probably won't come. Or have the party with just your husband and step children and facetime or skype in the family when it's time to reveal or have a friend take a picture of the moment you reveal what it is and send that out as an announcement. Either way, congrats!

    Answer by khedy at 11:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • I would have the party and, during that time, I would post it to facebook or somewhere you know at least one of your family will see it. That way, everyone will know at the same time.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:29 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

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