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Okay, people! I'm gonna see some Christmas spirit around here if I hafta smack it into ya!

The four of us got our Christmas tree up last night, finished decorating it today. But the way it went down, I was feeling exasperated because it wasn't the family bonding time I had hoped for. Dad and Brother got the tre out of the box, put it together, and checked the lights to make sure they all worked. I had Christmas carols on one of the Cable TV channels. But then my boyfriend sat down and turned on "The Big Bang Theory" -hardly what I would call family time appropriate. He decided he wanted to watch the show and get off his feet for half an hour, which might have been okay since he'd worked all day and taken the kids to a parade, but he shouldn't have started the decorating till after he'd taken a rest. So my stepson is on the computer, and my preschooler is climbing on boxes, trying to open them, oober excited. He's telling her no, scolding her to wait, which she's been doing all day. After the show was over, I was so pissed at the interactions between Dad and Daughter I started to walk up stairs and leave Dad to deal with the tree. Daughter wanted me there, though, so I sucked it up. Dad helps Daughter start to put on decorations, and I do some too. Brother won't get off the computer. He's watching Family Gy videos. I go over to unplug him ad ask him to join in, and he says no, don't nag him, he wants to find Christmas carols. So the rest of the time, he's on Youtube, playing off-the-wall Christmas songs, not participating in the decoration of the tree. Finally, we got the whole thing done, just to perfection like Boyfriend wants it. Then he spens half the rest of the day telling the four-year-old to stay away from the tree and leave the decorations alone. She's all girl, she likes the sparkles and color, I told him privately what's it going to hurt if she rearranges the ornaments on the lower branches? That's half the fun of a tree. Nothing really delicate is down there where she (or the cat who likes to lay under the tree) can reach it. He doesn't answer that, so I guess touching the ornaments is a no-no, which I'll have to enforce all day when I'm here alone, where letting her rearrange a few things would lose its appeal in a day or two if I pretend not to notice her doing it. The tree turned out nice, I guess I just remember tree trimming from my childhood as--somehow sacred. There's some quality I can't put my finger on that hasn't survived the years. My childhood was nowhere near perfect, and a lot of Christmas memories are difficult and painful, but we always seemed to come together for the decorating of the tree. One diffeence is, we used to find stuff from Mom and Dad under the tree on Christmas morning, and just a small gift or stocking from Santa. My boyfriend grew up getting all of his big gifts from Santa, so that's how we've been doing it for our daughter, but it feels a little empty to me. I'd like to be able to tell my daughter, "I picked out that game for you. I know you'll have a lot of fun with it."

I don't know what I'm even rambling about now. The house is decorated; life is good. It just feels--empty--for me. I don't try to be a grumpy gus; don't know why the holidays always leave me like this or what I can do to pull my spirits up.


Asked by Ballad at 12:35 AM on Dec. 10, 2012 in Holidays

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • Part of it that you need to keep in mind, is your memories from childhood aren't quite accurate, either. Your dd probably has great memories right now from yesterday's tree decorationg. Kids dont pick up on all the under currents, or that you wanted step son off the computer,etc. She didnt have your memories to compare it to. And when you were a kid, a lot of stuff was probably going on that you didnt pay any attention to either. All you can do is keep your attitude, and spirit, positive for your daughter... that's what she will remember, and what she will be telling her kids when she is grown. How grandma was always so happy, and made Christmas sooo much fun for her as a little girl!!! :)

    Answer by Nimue930 at 2:41 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • It's almost like you defer everything to your boyfriend. Isn't this your home too? Is there NO room for YOUR desires regarding holiday traditions?

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 12:43 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Awww- yeah what's with Santa stealing all the parent's thunder? I don't get that!

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:36 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • We're pretty bah-humbug too this year. Although we did get the tree up last weekend, and my husband and son decorated it together this morning and surprised me when I woke up (yes, the tree was up for a week undecorated lol). But we do have lights up and I'm probably Glade and Febreeze's best customer because I just had to buy all their holiday scented candle which I must say makes my house smell amazing. 'Tis the extent of my holiday spirit though. Really wishing we had more family to share it with.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Put glitter in his underpants.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:11 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Aww Ballad, we decorated our tree yesterday too. And it was a similar scene in some ways. I did most of it with the kids drifting in and out. Kind of frustrating, but in the end, the kids were happy, DH was impressed with the results. We have some new traditions that are kind of nice too, like picking out the tree at the farm up the road, and making ornaments together. I have to remember to good parts of the day and not constantly try to have everything be the way it was when I was a kid.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 12:53 AM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • It's almost like you defer everything to your boyfriend. Isn't this your home too? Is there NO room for YOUR desires regarding holiday traditions?

    I didn't really have many holiday traditions that survived my divorce. So when my boyfriend moved into my townhouse five years ago, and then I had my baby and became a stepmom too, I hadn't even put up a tree in years. So I've been piecing together new traditions, I guess. I don't care what most of the traditions turn out to be, except that I'd like to see some that pull the family together sometimes. "The Big Bang Theory" and "Veggie Tales Christmas" on Youtube didn't work well for me last nght.

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Dec. 10, 2012