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3 Bumps

Is this ever the answer someone bullying your child?

Accepting it as inevitable and trying to see the good in the bully?

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 7:09 PM on Dec. 10, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,169 Credits)
Answers (43)
  • I do not accept bullying but do not accept violence as a resolution unless you are in actual physical danger. Then fighting back is justified.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Bullies are inevitable.
    I personally believe that a bully can be rined to act differently and should be.

    I also believe that bullies are scared. When you hit them where they are scared they generally will stop. I have some bit of experience in this.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • that should be trained.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:36 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • Bullies are a simple fact and facet of life. Either you're responsible and provide your children with the necessary tools to combat them (self esteem, critical thinking, logic, wit and a vast vernacular, maybe some basic boxing) or you fall short and your child becomes a victim.

    Frankly, my eldest has frequently been the butt of the joke. She's a bit different than most girls, as was I and she's been taught to combat the bitchiness and taunting from her peers with her intelect. She fights back with a gentle but sweeping nature that simply knocks them off of their feet.

    I accept the fact that there will always be bullies, I do not accept that kids will be bullied. I adhere to the ideal that I am responsible to protect those who can not protect their self, moreover that in doing so I am responsible to teach them how to not only protect their self, but to do the same for others.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:52 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • That kind of reminds me of the comment made by Clayton Williams in the 1990 Texas Gubernatorial debate with Ann Richards, comparing rain to being raped.  He suggested that, like rape, you can't do anything about it, so you may as well relax and enjoy it.

    Bullies need to be held accountable.  The fact is that kids who bully often grow up to be very maladjusted adults who have difficulties at work, getting and keeping jobs, difficulties in relationships, etc.  There is no reason to ignore the bullying.  It's not good for the victim, and it's not good for the bully.


    Answer by jsbenkert at 1:41 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Fuck. No. Screw with my kid and there will be hell to pay.

    Answer by Nos4 at 7:06 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Yeah, I tried that with my bullies. Wanna know what it got me? A couple of scars (from cutting myself) and a perscription for Prozac that nearly drove me to suicide (needless to say, I stopped taking that shit quick). Today, I have a self-esteem that is so low that if anything goes wrong in my life (from my kids getting sick to our car breaking down), I automatically blame myself. I never fought back and always told myself that there is good in everyone. Of couse, now I know the truth that there is no good in some people, but the damage those bullies did is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 10:39 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • IDK. Last year my kids brought home something the school called a 'bully wheel', where it had different coping mechanisms for kids to deal with their bully before they went to a teacher. It gave them 8 or 9 suggestions of how to deal with someone they feel is bullying them and if they were to encounter someone that bullied them, they were to use these techniques to deal with the other child. One of them stated that if the child hits them or touches them in any way, they are to immediately go tell an adult and not fight back. I told my kids to fuck their suggestion (didn't use as strong language with them) and that if someone hit them, they are free to hit back. They looked at me horrified saying they would get in trouble at school and I told them that I would always have their back if they were defending themselves. They have every right to feel safe at school.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:38 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Nope never

    Answer by Alisim at 1:14 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Trying to see the good, YES!, Accepting it, NO! Always find a way to stop the bullying and take it seriously, while still trying to find good qualities in the bully themself!

    Answer by Lovemyfamilyof8 at 11:55 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

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