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Drawing names for christmas

my husbands family decided that this year the grown ups are going to buy each other gifts, but instead of buying for everyone we are drawing names. they drew names at his grandparents and i was told that i have fil and "{by the time we realized it it was too late to change it" We do not have a ton of money to start with and have already spent a pretty good amount on my parents and the inlaws. what is the protocol in a situation like this? apparently we are also supposed to buy for all his cousins kids (8 not counting mine and we see them only a couple times a year) and while i am all about giving i would have liked to know this sooner that everything was changing from the past when i had more time to make things or save more money. but that is beside the point. my main question is about what to do about fil gift.


Asked by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:37 AM on Dec. 11, 2012 in Holidays

Level 24 (19,949 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Oh I hate it when someone dictates how I celebrate.
    I totally agree with you on this . So this is an additional celebration. Do you do this every yar or is this a one time deal. If it was a one time deal, I guess I would try to do my best. Maybe a coloring book and crayons for the kids. lol.
    I would most definitely have a chat with the aunt (our DH should since it is his side) and tell her that you would like to be consulted before you are committed to doing something and definitely earlier.

    I don't even commit my hubby to something without asking him first, lol.
    My other answer is make cookies for them all.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:29 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Gift cards for everyone. Small amount. I have never felt obligated to by gifts for all my extended family.


    Answer by louise2 at 6:47 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Make something pass on a really good book pass on a nicknack or gift something that you or hubby know he just loves or really needs. (Ie that clock or picture hanging in the living room that he always complementary, you could always make a gift basket and fill it with treats you made too

    Answer by flowersmama at 7:12 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • What is the specified amount for the gift? We do a name pick for the adults & have a specified amount set to spend.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:08 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • If you already got FIL something then don't get him anything else. If you haven't, then get him something small.

    Answer by kmath at 8:18 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • We also draw names, but have a specified amount set to spend on that gift - usually right around $15. We also buy MIL & FIL both gifts, even if we have their names - but we don't go overboard with that either. Who the heck said you have to buy for your cousins kids? Shoot, we don't even buy for all our own nieces and nephews! (none of the family does - we draw names!) Depending on their ages I'd buy them a coloring book & colors (dollar stores have awesome coloring books) or a nice notebook and pen and call it a day - and make sure whoever's "in charge" knows that a)it doesn't happen again and b)decisions like the name drawing need to be brought up sooner.

    Answer by idareyou at 8:37 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • What did you already buy the inlaws? I would say return the mil's gift and give fil what you already had purchased. I would then use the money from Mil's gift to buy $10 gift cards for the cousin's children. I would talk to someone more about the expectation of buying the cousin's kids gifts in the first place. I assume they are not buying expensive gifts for your children?

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:59 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • I put a stop to all that nonsense about 10 years ago. I want to spend MY money on my own children (and now my grandchildren) NOT any one else.

    Answer by m-avi at 9:58 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • we never bought for everyone either since we both have huge families. i did buy for his cousins kids at first when there was 2 lol, but now there are 10 (besides mine) them and since we never see them we never get them anything. i just was not sure do i go spend even more on fil, do i save one of the things we already have, etc? i do not want to seem cheap, but right now i have about $40 to my name and have not got anything for my father and have rent due January 1st.

    Comment by MooNFaeRie30 (original poster) at 6:56 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • I would just tell them that you have already spent for Christmas and won't be able to do any more this year. They should have arranged this sooner, this is late to be deciding something like this! My siblings and I (5 of us) draw for each other but we all buy for my parents and each others kids (13 grandchildren total plus 1 on the way, 5 are mine). On my husbands side we buy something small for his parents and that's it

    Answer by missanc at 8:56 AM on Dec. 11, 2012