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Why do I suck?!

I just lost my cool and yelled...the loudest I've ever yelled at my son :( he's just being out of control this morning, and usual I'm pretty calm and cool, but I just got impatient with him this morning and could feel myself wanting to crawl out of my own skin....and I screamed at him :( and the saddest thing is that he just stood there and looked at me. After he went to his room, I apologized to him, but the damage has already been done, I SUCK!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Dec. 11, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • It happens, don't beat yourself up too much.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • He went to his room implies he's probably old enough to understand everyone gets angry sometimes.

    you apologized. give him some time and then the two of you can have a talk about his bad behavior and your bad reaction.
    come up with a strategy for when mommy needs a time out :)
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:59 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • No ones perfect, and if you think you're the only one to loose you're cool, you're not... Kids are resilient, and he'll be fine.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:03 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Good for you most parents will not apologize to their child. I don't know how old your child is but yes the damage is done like any other mistake we make. We just get up, dust ourselves off and try to do better. If he is old enough to be left alone in a room for a bit, my best suggestion is when you feel like this walk away without saying anything but "stay there" and go and cool off. Run some tepid water over your wrists to cool down.

    We all blow it sometimes in our parenting. Forgive yourself.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Well, you didn't spank him! Everyone has flipped out, it happens, next time try to count to 10, or remove yourself from him. My kids are more worried when I talk in a low voice, they know that I am serious.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 11:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Being human is not sucking, it's being human
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Eh, you don't suck. It happens to us all.

    Dh yells at the kids and doesn't apologize, and it makes a difference in their relationship, they don't really talk to him about anything. I lose my cool too, but I've always apologized and explained that I shouldn't have blown up, but they should listen to me better so that I don't get angry like that. Our relationship is pretty darn good considering they're now tweens and teens. It happens, and you handled it great. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:11 AM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • That is hard for sure. It hurts to feel regret & remorse. I think it's important not to minimize negative interactions just because "kids are resilient" or because everyone makes mistakes (which is so true), and I think it's important to take clear responsibility & make amends. But that doesn't mean blaming or shaming ourselves. It's important to treat ourselves with the compassion we wish we had unfailingly for our children. Understand what happened & why, and that it signals something important (like, personal needs going unmet) and that it is not about blame or guilt (or sucking!) This is an opportunity to model self-compassion & understanding to your son instead of harsh self-judgment. The more we respond this way to ourselves, the more consistently we will be able to respond this way to others, including our children. The more harshness & blame we direct at ourselves, the more likely we'll "lose it" this way with others.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:29 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • Everyone loses it. Explain it was wrong and you did apologize.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 3:01 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • no one is perfect ...
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 6:59 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

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