Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not a riot...just needing some feedback

Ok here is my dilema in a nut shell. My DH has a DD of 13. He was never married to mom and they have been apart since DD was born. DH has always always paid child support. BO married to a man making 6 figures a year and they live in a swanky neighborhood with built in pool..the whole nine yards. They have no other children. When I met DH I was the single mom of 3 and had a dead beat dad to deal with and have never gotten support. DH is not a rich man and we live in a place that is pasts its prime to say the least. Mostly because he makes 14 bucks an hr and supports his kid and my 3 . I also work full time. DH was laid off last month until further notice so we filed for unemployment. We have to take the 52 bucks a week for child support out of that money. Please know we believe in being responsible, but don't you think she could cut him some slack on the support? If it was the reverse I would. Your thoughts?


Asked by salexander at 11:47 AM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 26 (28,366 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • In this specific set of circumstances I would probably talk to her and see if he can't get a stay put on his child support. That doesn't excuse his obligation and he should still have to pay all of it back when he gets a new job. It is child support and is for the child, well you know what I mean. You sound reasonable and responsible so I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say.

    You know what they always say though, you'll never know if you don't try.

    Good luck and I hope your hubby gets a new job quickly!

    Answer by Xynyth at 12:01 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I would have to agree with you. Have you asked her if thats okay?

    Let the rich get richer and the poor get poorer....

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I have not said anything as I try to stay out of crap between the two of them. My sister called me this morning to see how we were doing and I told her we had filed for unemployment and I let them take the support out as I don't want him getting behind. I know he is responsible for her...Lord knows I know what it is like to raise kids with no support. I just think it is the moral/right thing to do. If you could see how they live and how we just does not seem fair.

    Answer by salexander at 11:52 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I don't think just because she and her husband have more money relieves him of the obligation to provide support for his child.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:53 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • yeah she should cut him some slack but women are sometimes vengeful.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 11:55 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • My SO has a son who is four and he was never married to the BM either. He pays out $300 a month and she uses the money for stupid things (new car, computer, etc). He and I have a 19 month old together now and when our son was first born, it was very hard for us to get by. Now we're living comfy enough for me to stay at home. anyway, (don't hate me for it) but I don't think your SO should get slack on the child support. AS much as I hate my SS's BM....I always make sure SO pays the support and we still give her things in addition to. You can ask BM to ease up on the support & see what she says...but don't be surprised if she's like heck no! and if she says sure, can we trade BM's? lol.

    Answer by john2007 at 11:55 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I said we believe in his responsibility to her, however I think 200+ bucks for one 13 yr old is a bit steep and as a matter of fact I think if we petitioned the court it would be reduced anyway. I just think it would be nice of her...btw she is always spouting off about what a good person she is...if she said "hey I know you are out of work right now so if you need to have it lowered whatever you can so you can get by" I guess it is just wishful thinking.

    Answer by salexander at 11:59 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I would agree with you but if he doesn't go to court and explain the change of circumstances to a judge and get his child support reduced the legal way he can get into a lot of trouble with child support enforcement. Just go to the courthouse and file for a change of child support.. the people there are pretty helpful and can usually help you get the fees waived, make sure you've got the right papers filled out, etc.. it'll take a few weeks to get into the courtroom, just make sure you keep paying exactly what your supposed to until then!

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:03 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • IMO. He should be responsible for his child/ren. IMO Your children are not his resposibilty.IMO

    Answer by louise2 at 12:04 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Just ask and see what she says. It wouldn't hurt.

    To be honest though, I easily spend more than $52 a week on my 14 year old and she pays for her clothes and other stuff. But with lunch money and food she eats at home that adds up fast. I know it's not fair maybe that the girl's mom is doing well and you guys are not and still have to pay, but that's part and parcel of getting into a relationship with someone who had a child from a previous relationship.


    Answer by anime_mom619 at 12:13 PM on Feb. 12, 2009