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My 1 year old is so bad! I'm going crazy . HELP!

My son is going to be 2 in march. I'm pretty nervous for the terrible 2s , because I'm hoping he can't get any worse. My son is bad. My fiancé says it. His dad says it. His grandmother has 7 grandchildren, my son being 2nd youngest, even says he's the worse of them all.

He cries everywhere he goes. He's destructive. Whines over everything. Never ever listens when I say no. Hits people. Throws crazy tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I can go on and on. He's just a crazy bad baby. :( he's so handsome though lol. I can't spank him. I fel bad afterwards, and I don't want him to hate me!! :(

I don't know what to do anymore. He stresses me out! I don't want to lash out one day. Sometimes I want to just scream!!! His dad is very helpful. He takes him for 3-4 days, so I can rest, work, and go to shool. But when I have him, I feel like I'm going to have a nervous break down.

What can I do?
I'm a 20 year old mom, if that matters.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Dec. 12, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • You need to have clear limits as to what is, and is not, allowed and stick to it. Plus many times children act out because they are not getting enough positive attention. They will go for the negative attention if that is all they acn get. Make him your big helper for everything, no matter how small....like folding laundry, putting away laundry, picking up toys, picking out apples at the store....anything. And heap on the praise when he does anything positive. It will go a long way to making him feel special. May times this is all it takes to get a more cooperative child.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • My son is bad. My fiancé says it. His dad says it. His grandmother has 7 grandchildren, my son being 2nd youngest, even says he's the worse of them all.

    You need new friends.
    This child doesn't have the cognitive skills to actively be BAD. All he can do is react to his environment. He doesn't know how to manipulate his environment enough to be able to understand that his actions have the consequence of causing the ADULTS WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER stress.

    Try a parenting class and keep the baby haters away from him.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 7:16 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • I don't know what goes on at his dads house.
    But at MY house... It's just him, and my fiancé and I. My fiancé plays with him, and his toys. We take him out to the park, chuck e cheese, out to eat, etc. I don't see where I'm going wrong? We took him to the mall today, and he wanted to run everywhere. When I tried to grab his hand, he threw a tantrum. Yes, that's stressful, if he does it it everywhere we go.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • I'm starting to think he's confused. He's around older kids at his dads house, and he's watching everything they do, and thinks its okay. I just don't know anymore. At my house, he gets all the attention, he's the only child... We don't spank him, barely yell at him. He has all the toys, his belly is always full. Etc...

    Could it be he's confused between what going on in my house, and his dads?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:26 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Is he bored? Also is he frustrated because he has trouble communicating?  This is a hard age because they understand what they want and need but don't always have the skills to get it across to anyone else. Reward him for doing the right thing.  Pick your battles find a few things and correct him immediately when he misbehaves.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:51 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • YOU ARE his Problem &why he is acting the way he is. Spend more time with him instead of dumping him off & be his Mother. He has no consistency in his life. He wants his Mother & needs a routine. He needs comforting & to feel safe. You better change your ways now or else he will become an even bigger problem & ONLY YOU are to blame. Kids are mirrors of their environment. Sorry but the truth hurts.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • It doesn't hurt at all.
    The reason why I posted this , was to get some help, and outlook. And I thought about that also. Would it be better if I just give him to his dad on weekends?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:38 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • I had a VERY tough child but I was 29 having him - I know what you are going through ten fold I promise - but please don't call him BAD, call him challenging, the sooner you look at it being YOU who needs to learn how to raise him and not the other way around to where he HAS to listen to you, you will be better off - email me mama,.. we can chat.,.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:48 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • You're right. He is a great baby!
    Thank you. (:
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • " I can't spank him. I fel bad afterwards, and I don't want him to hate me!! :("

    That was a very revealing phrase ... You don't want him to hate you - OK, so what are you doing for discipline other than yelling occasionally (yelling doesn't do much good, actually). Are you afraid to discipline him? Are you being firm with him? When you say "no" are you serious about it or can he get round you? I'm asking all these questions because it sounds as if he's testing your limits, pushing you to see how far you'll go.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 5:47 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

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