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The unadulterated truth about my relationship adult content

I was divorced a couple of years ago after being with my ex since we were 18 (back in the mid-nineties!) It was a miserable marriage.

I don't have many friends. I have a quirky (read: strange) personality and have clicked with very few people in my life. I get along with people on a superficial level, but have trouble forming any close relationships I feel, in part, due to my unusual personality. I'm not a freak or anything, just not very conventional and girlie, and I have a dark sense of humor.
Plus everyone I know is married. They don't have time for friends anyway. They are with their families and already have a few close girlfriends and no room for more.

I have been in a relationship with a man for 16 months. He has his good points (and his good days) but the bottom line is that he's a borderline narcissistic, emotionally unavailable control freak. We have our great times together, but there's a lot of pain in it for me as well (emotional/verbal abuse, getting the cold shoulder, being the one to make ALL the sacrifices in order to make the relationship work, etc)

I have a lot of feelings for this man, I honestly do, but the bottom line is that I don't break up with him because I'm so. fucking. lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to. The nights we aren't together, I end up playing stupid computer games or reading pointless facebook posts all night after the kids go to bed at 8. It's boring and meaningless and empty.

So folks, there it is. I can't leave my relationship with a man who doesn't treat me as a valued partner because I don't want to be alone anymore. How pathetic is that?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Dec. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (32)
  • You're doing yourself a HUGE disservice
    Ever hear it's better to be happy alone,than miserable together?
    Drop his ass and focus on yourself. You'll be amazed when you rid yourself of the negativity,happiness will flow in

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:02 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • I think it takes courage to admit the truth. I have no advice because only you can decide if this relationship is enough for you.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:03 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • I'm sorry to hear that you feel stuck in that situation. If it were me, I'd rather be lonely than locked in a relationship with a narcissist. He will always be what he is now, only more so as time goes by.

    Answer by NearSeattleMom at 9:03 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Id gof or the lonely life, join a support group because in all honesty
    You have no idea how many women and men are in the same boat with you.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:06 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Ah. Life. After high school there's just no good way to meet new friends. Dump the loser and figure the rest out later.

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • If you can write out your situation that clearly and post it, you may be getting ready to get more out of life. You certainly deserve more than what you've got. Quirky or not you can make new friends, that would be a start. I wish you only the best. GL

    Answer by tessiedawg at 9:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Why don't you try nurturing you wants a need. Say you like to paint ake a painting class. Find things you love and fulfill yourself I'm sure in the process you'll find friends you can relate to? I agree your doing yourself a disservice and why would you want to when you left a relationship that was no good?

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 9:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • Dump his ass. Being alone isn't that bad—neither is being lonely. Feeling like crap because he's made you feel bad about yourself is much worse.

    Answer by SWasson at 9:18 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • "because I'm so. fucking. lonely"

    look familiar to you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

  • How did you meet this man? Being with someone just because you don't want to be alone is a very bad idea.
    There are so many websites out there for dating or if you would just like to connect with people or meet new people, try attending church, helping out at your kids' school, having study dates (gives you an excuse to talk with the parent of the other child) or just go to the park with your child. I know what you mean though. I only have FB friends and a few that I could count on if I really needed some social interaction.
    What state do you live in? Maybe you and I could hang out. :-)

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 9:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2012

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