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How do i get my 13yr old son to behave at school?

He constantly gets in trouble at school for various things. This week he brought porno to school, last week it was him charging his lunch and spending his lunch money elsewhere. He has been suspended for grabbing a girls breasts, butt. Taken money out of my purse and gotten caught trying to give it to his friends. He has had all his privledges taken away, made to stand in a corner for hours on end, been grounded to his room, made to sit and do homework for hours. None of it has helped and his school doesnt have a guidance counselor. He just doesnt care. HELP!!

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Asked by bshayd at 12:17 AM on Dec. 13, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If nothing has worked, this would be a rare instance when I would suggest that you, and school officials, make it clear to him that, if he does anything like this again, the police will be called. Theft, sexual harassment, possesing porn as a minor. Maybe he just needs to get scared straight by having the cops come and take him in for a few days. So he can see where the road he is taking will lead to. Hope you find a way to reach him :)

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 12:51 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Made to stand in a corner for hours? That is called abuse.

    Charging a lunch and spending it elsewhere would be a you issue and not a school issue.

    There is more to thise that we can know in this small space but if there is no guidence counelor? then it is up to you t get him the counseling that is needed. You know he is having problems and you as the parent have to step up and get him the help he needs. Everything you are describing screams HELP ME, to me. But sadly no one is listening.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:24 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I agree with Dardenella- sounds like he needs counseling. Standing in a corner for hours?...not gonna accomplish anything

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:27 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • It sounds to me like he is crying out for attention and the only way he can get it is by being bad. I also suspect that he is extremely angry about something. Since your school doesn't have a guidance counselor, I would consider taking him for some other kind of counseling. I know that can be expensive, so I would consider those places where it can be found free of charge. Our church has trained counselors on staff, and they do not charge for their services. So do a lot of other churches across the country. You can use the yellow pages of your phone book and call around to see which ones offer it in your area. This child is at a critical age. If he doesn't get the help he needs right now, you could lose him to a life you don't want to even think about.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:46 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • The school systems are so bad that my kids are being home schooled now which is working out a lot better. I live in Oklahoma and was appalled to find out that 2 schools got an f on the new grading system that grades the actual schools and at douglas high school in OKC parents are pissed that 81% of seniors are not on track to graduate and 95% of Juniors are not on track to graduate. It's a shame how bad it is but sometimes homeschool is for the best. Good luck.

    Answer by 405mom at 1:34 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Counseling? Calling the police the next time he touches a females private parts or brings porn to school. The SCHOOL tends to take care of these things that are happening at school and you need to get him under control before he does more than he is.

    Him standing in a corner for hours would not only be abuse but a joke. He is 13, not 2. Do you really think he will stay in the corner for hours or just walk out of the house laughing at you?

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • I agree with counseling!

    Answer by older at 8:50 AM on Dec. 23, 2012

  • Sounds like he's crying for help and is in need of counseling. You can search counselors in your area and some off a fee schedule based on income, and some provide free counseling. See if there are programs you can get him into that will offer counseling in a "round about way".
    Move fast, because once he turns 17 (16 in some states) you don't have much leverage as a parent.

    Answer by 143myboys9496 at 2:12 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • Time for individual and family therapy

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Something is wrong with your child and before he gets arrested for sexual haradsment, I suggest YOU as the parent help your child. He's crying out for help and the best person to get him this help is you NOT the school's responsibility to raise your child, it is their responsiblity to educate him.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

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