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Introducing My Kids to my "Boyfriend's" family....

My Boyfriend (I hate calling him that cause we're in our 30's) and I have been together for 3 years. We are not really close to marriage or anything of that nature as we are taking it very slow and just enjoying our relationship with no pressure. I have a 10 yr old and a 5 year old and they love him to pieces. He has a 14 yr old and the boys all get along like brother's (all are DS's) and are very close.

I know my BF's family well and we actually grew up in the same town and have known eachother for years and our familie's have known eachother and even our Ex's families know eachother, it's a small town in the South that we're from so it's typical. However, my children have never met my BF's parents. This is our 3rd Christmas together and his Step-mom wants me to bring my children to their family Christmas. With my mentality of "taking it slow" I'm a little nervous and reluctant to introduce my children to a whole new side of a family that they are not familiar with. They've never met them before and won't so Christmas Day will be the very first time. His step-mother is seemingly nice . I've always known her to have a tendancy to be two-faced but never had a problem with her and kinda feel like she just genuinely wants to meet my children but Christmas is a lot of pressure to me. Am I being weird about this? I told her we would bring them by and she said she was going to have gifts for them but I"m concerned that my children may be uncomfortable and we should have this first meeting on a regular day. My BF says it's not as big a deal as I'm making it but I'm very protective of my children and don't want them to feel awkward or out of place .I grew up with step-grandparents that I never felt comfortable around and I know how it feels so I don't want to put that on them....

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VanessaMomof2

Asked by VanessaMomof2 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 13, 2012 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,651 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Go for it. You're 3 years in,not 3 months
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I will go they will probably had a good time. Have fun
    Alisim

    Answer by Alisim at 11:28 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • What about taking them by sometime between now and christmas for a more informal meet and greet. just so its not so much pressure and the kids can get to know them a bit first before christmas day? I am actually kinda surprised you've been together with BF for 3 years and your kids have never met his parents, but then again i don't know what that would be like to have "his" and "mine" and you did say you were taking it slow... It sounds like it'll be fine though and his parents just wants to get to know your kids :)
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:30 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Yes go
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:33 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • @DreainCO we've both been through tough divorces in the past and our children being stable and having a firm foundation has always been more important to us and our exes. I have been divorced only 3 and a half years and we started dating really before it was final so I wanted my kids to adjust before I brought up a whole new and different life with a whole new family. Does that make sense? Kids come first and we wanted to be mature in trying to achieve a balance and normalcy for them and ease into everything as we both rushed into our previous marriages. We live 2 hours away so a before hand meet and and greet would not make sense. It should be fine, I'm probably over-reacting but I think i justneeded some encouragement that we're doing the right thing here. Thank you gals!
    VanessaMomof2

    Comment by VanessaMomof2 (original poster) at 11:44 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • After 3 years, I don't think anyone could say you're taking things too fast. My only concern, and this is more of a question for you to think about than any kind of criticism, is where is the relationship going?

    You've been dating for 3 years and you made a point of saying "we're not close to marriage or anything like that." Is marriage an option on the table at some point? Are you just taking things slow or are you not interested in taking that next step? If you're taking things slow, I don't think introducing the kids to his family after 3 years is a bad thing. But if you (or he, or both of you) aren't interested in ever taking that next step to advance the relationship, then maybe keeping your lives separate as you have been would be a better idea.

    I don't really see a problem, though. It sounds like the kids are all old enough to understand that people come and go in our lives. Go for it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:53 AM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I think it will be fine. My inlaws have become wonderful grandparents to my 3 older children from my 1st marriage. As long as you go into it with a positive attitude - they will pick that up from you.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:24 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Do you two live together? Or seperate?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:01 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I say go for it
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:45 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • gluck
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 1:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2012

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