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Do you think the practice of the man asking the woman to marry him is outdated?

Should she wait around until HE decides it's time?
Should she ask him?
Should it be a discussion they have together?

My husband and I just sat down and discussed marriage and all it would entail(3 hours!) So I never got a proposal, which was fine with me. We just went and picked out wedding rings together.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 1:13 PM on Dec. 13, 2012 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I never thought about it much, but yes I suppose it is outdated. We had always just assumed we would get married, and one day we set a date. There was no formal proposal from either of us. But yes, I do think that either person should ask, and marriage should be discussed early on so both know where the other is at before things get very serious.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 10:22 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • My husband and I definitely discussed things, looked at rings, etc. but he also did the whole surprise romantic evening, get down on one knee and ask me to marry him. Romance is never outdated!

    Answer by missanc at 2:27 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I like the discussing it together thing. After all, the marriage is built on a partnership, so why should it be any other way.

    Answer by m-avi at 1:20 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • im definitely one of those romantic, head in the clouds type of girls, i want to be asked and i want to be surprised. but this is only for me and my relationships. i dont think everyone should do it that way. i think each couple should do what works for them. congrats :)

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • oh LOL. i thought you meant you "just" went and picked out rings together haha. oops ;)

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I'm too old fashioned to do the asking myself. We discussed marriage long before the proposal ever took place. I'd have loved to be surprised though.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:34 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • Well someone has to bring it up so that would be a safe way of proposing. I like the man proposing but that is me. Dh called long distance knowing I would be royally ticked off (long story) and propsed. I yelled at him nd hung up. My mother said thatI I was stupid and that I would die alone. He called me again and I just hung up. Did I mention that I was very angry? Well it took me a month but I finally called him and said, "You never caled me back". He said, "I thought you didn't want to talk to me again"
    And I just told him, "Three is the charm"
    Iti is not that my mother thought he was te best match, she was just like that and switched side when she thought it would through in a wedge.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:05 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I would never ask a man to marry me, I am old fashioned like that. But my dh and I did the same thing you and your dh did. I like to give him shit about how he never proposed to me, but that is not relevant to our life;)

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:29 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I would never ask a man to marry me, so I guess not I don't think it's outdated. I think it's romantical :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Dec. 13, 2012

  • I think most couples talk about their desire to be married, or the possibiity of it before a proposal ever happens. But some women still want the romantic, surprise, down on one knee type event, and some men want to give them that. They do it, even if both sides have discussed marriage, and pretty much know how the other feels. My DH and I discussed marriage, but he still surprised me with a proposal. I loved it. It's one of my nicest memories. And he told me later he was still nervous even though we had talked about it. He was still scared I might have changed my mind, or decided to wait, etc. Silly boy!! LOL

    Answer by Nimue930 at 4:16 PM on Dec. 13, 2012