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Help me settle my mind?

I'm posting this Anon to protect those involved.

I'm friends with a family that has a VERY confusing family tree. Mom has mentioned to me in the past they think Q's bio-dad is being inappropriate with Q. They tried to take BioDad to court but it got thrown out, for whatever reason. That was before I met them.

A few years ago I had a job that gave me some very intensive training in recognizing child abuse, and what to do if a child ever came to me with that kind of information. This morning Mom brought Q to talk to me about what happened last weekend at BioDad's house during visitation. I have never seen Q look me in the eye that strongly, nor be so honest and serious before.

While talking to Q about good touching and bad touching, Q told me that BioDad had bad touched her. I am now, and have been, in a different position that makes me a mandated reporter. After my conversation with Q I called the authorities.

That was 5 hours ago, and my mind is still running around in little, nearly panicked, circles. The small part of my mind that is sitting back and analyzing everything has realized that I think of Q as a child of my own. I think that's part of my problem right now. I want to do right by this child, and do the best thing for them, and I'm stuck in neutral right now.

I've done all I can right now, I get that. Part of me wants to go down and beat BioDad for what he's done. Part of me wants to sit in a corner and have hysterics. Part of me wants to wrap Q in a million blankets give hugs, and never let go.

Does anyone have any tips, tricks or tools for me to distract myself so I don't go crazy?

(If anyone has figured out who I am, I ask that you not say anything right now. Please)


Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Dec. 14, 2012 in Kids' Health

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I've got nothing. Sorry, but if I were in your shoes, I would not be able to concentrate on anything else. I guess my best advice would be that whatever you are most interested in, do that. Hopefully that avid interest will help distract you.

    Just remember that you did the right thing, and that (though I understand and share the urge to hurt bio dad) the best thing you can do for Q right now is let the legal system deal with it.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:42 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • As a mandatory reporter there is really nothing more you can do at this point. Youve made your report, if you talk about it, you are violating confidentiality, and that's a no no. If you haven't yet, I would document everything you have done to this point as carefully as possible, including times you've interacted with both parties in the past, and what the circumstances where. Then be ready to add to it in the next few days as people contact you... agencies, etc wanting more info. You need to keep a good log of everything. Remember that some of these things can be subpeonaed so getting that into shape can keep you busy, and get it all straight in your head. GL

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:33 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • Any situation where you have to wait and have no control is very difficult. I've found that the best thing to do is to keep as busy as possible. If nothing else, you should be able to get a whole lot of cleaning done right now.

    Answer by SWasson at 4:34 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • Hugs sweetie. No advice just loving thoughts to you and that baby.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • Find a friend you can talk to and talk this ALL out.
    As a female (generally speaking) we have the need to analyze every nuance of a conversation.
    It will let you get some of the tension out.

    I also think a cocktail and sedative are helpful. You know. Sleep on it and allow your brain to process the information. You will then be better able to think about this more clearly and debate your options.

    Answer by feralxat at 5:06 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • You have done your part in the system, make sure you have the details down in case you are asked. Go out, get a new book, rent that movie you have been wanting to watch, spend time with friends or family NOT involved in this situation. Big hugs to you and all involved.

    Answer by preacherskid at 9:20 PM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • Not really any advice here but some Hugs and hope the bio dad pays for what he has done

    Answer by Alisim at 9:58 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • find someone you trust to talk to about how your feeling and someone who will listen and let you vent

    Answer by futurebabykar at 1:03 AM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Forgot to say, but Q is 5 years old.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:43 PM on Dec. 14, 2012