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Feeling lonely? Sigh

My husband works all day and when he is here he ignores me and is always on his computer or phone. I say something about it and he is so defensive and yells at me. I try and kiss him and go to him he gets "smothered". He comes around when he wants some thats about it then hes blowing me off sgain.So I'm just used to sitting here being lonely it sucks I'm bored, depressed, etc.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Dec. 14, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Go out and have dinner with a friend. Leave him at home.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:07 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • Stop making him the center of your universe. If you stop. He will probably want you more.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:13 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • I remember being more lonely when I was married to need than when I was actually alone. At this point I think you likely need counseling to get the relationship back on track. If he isn't willing to go then nothing will change and you have to decide if this is enough or not.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:19 PM on Dec. 14, 2012

  • sadly, I really agree with the posts here. I'd really start leaving him behind and going out and see if that turns his head at all. Obviously, the counseling is a good idea.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:04 AM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • Has he always been like this or is it new behavior? If he's always been this way, he is not apt to change, and if you married him this way, it's unfair for you to expect him to be different after the wedding. If it's new behavior, then you should look for the reasons why he has changed toward you. The first thing I would look for would be disrespect. It is to a man what affection is to a woman, and when he doesn't feel that you look up to him, he withdraws and is determined to not give you what you want from him. Disrespect can have many different appearances: questioning his decisions, talking down to him, demanding from him rather than asking politely, etc.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:25 AM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • selfish
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 1:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • I would suggest counseling, if he does not agree, than try it on your own, if it does not work than it probably will never change.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • Ya well like most men he doesn't like the thought of counseling. He says that if someone else has to help us with our relationship there's no point in being together. And as for me going some where with a friend I do not have a car. And I if say I'm gonna have a friend come get me for a little bit he says to take my stuff and not come back. It's his way of controlling.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:58 PM on Dec. 15, 2012

  • My boyfriend used to do that all of the time when he came from work, we would go weeks without doing it. and he would always want his space, if he is working all day, he must be tired, but it still doesn't give him a right to blow you off. But just relax and give him the space that he needs. He will come around, and you make sure that you give him the attention that he wants then. ;)
    vall11

    Answer by vall11 at 12:33 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

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