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How should I do with my 12 yo son issue?

My only son is very tender hearted kid, quiet, nice, doing great at school, very responsible,
It's been 2 weeks since he first mentioned to us that he felt bad about what he did to friends at school which is not a big deal at all such as accidentally kick his friend; and there more other little things. We "lectured" him a few occasions saying that if he always felt bad over everyday life little things , he'll always feel sad and upset, and that'll waste his energy and time. I am so worried that he always had something he thought he did (bad ones) in the past and he said that makes his chest hurt. He became very easy to cry,sad. Yesterday he said he felt bad watched TV called "100 sexiest women"; felt worst that he kinda "enjoy it". He know he's not supposed to see it. I said that's normal having curiousities at his age, that is not a bad things. I felt he had something else deep down. Does he or we need counselling?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • we raise our kids to have manners and compassion, yet when they hurt we hurt..I know. Try getting him into martial arts, self defense or another physical group. That can help raise self esteem. My dd was such a weakling and such a lil mommy, but not alot of self esteem, I put her in karate and she soared. She was really good..its more about starting with padded things and hiting air u dont have to beat on each other for awhile lol. Counselling can be helpful, its always worth a try to give ur kids someone to talk to if u r worried he is too anxious. Good luck..bless his sweet heart.

    Answer by lakegeorge_mom at 5:00 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I agree with the pp! Martial Arts teaches WAY more than self esteem, it teaches respect, honor, self control, excellent way to relieve stress. I'm totally supporting the martial arts aspect. I also agree with the counseling thing as the pp mentioned. Kids open up to others better and gives them an "outsider" to talk to. This is such a hard age for children. Hugs to you all!!


    Answer by blessed5x at 9:58 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Thank you Lakegeorge mom and blessed5x for your support, I'm glad and relief I'm not alone. I definitely would try martial arts, and last night I was thinking to get him a puppy. He wanted to have a dog for a while, but I haven't agree with that yet, I am not a pet person at all. However, I felt he might be lonely, and with things happened right now, I can't say no anymore, if dog can cheers him up, I am ready for it now.

    I will also contact his school counsellor, she might be a great start for counselling.

    Thank you all,, I really appreciate your thought!!
    HAve a great weekend...

    Answer by HOPE8818 at 12:04 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Your son sounds like a sweet boy, but I would be concerned too if my son was that burdened by little things. It is great that he talks to you about what is bothering him, and your reaction probably does reassure him quite a bit. How does he seem to be doing otherwise? Does he bounce back or stay upset most of the time? I think counseling would be a good idea to let him explore these issues with an objective neutral party so he can get a perspective on things. It sounds like you are saying there have been things going on in his life.....and maybe that is making it harder for him. Try the counseling, and if he is interested in martial arts, give that a try.....wait just a little bit on the puppy because you really need to be ready for that.

    Answer by BJoan at 11:23 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Wow...poor kid. Sounds like hes really struggling with a lot of self condemnation. Thats a sign that he really wants to do the right thing. Tell him that when he feels like hes done something that maybe wasn't right, he needs to just forgive himself (and if you believe, ask God to forgive) and then just move on. He doesn't need to hold every little offense against himself. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone screws up. Hes got a high moral conscience it sounds like. Thats the making of a great person. COngrats to you for doing such a good job.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:34 AM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • My son did karate and Taikwondo...has a black belt now. Martial Arts is great!

    Answer by greeneyedlady27 at 10:04 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

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