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Going on strike adult content

I'm a stay at home mom with a 1 yr old and an 8 yr old that I home school. Anyone who is a stay at home mom knows how much work there is.

My husband goes to work from 3am to between 12-2 pm

In my opinion actions speak louder then words. I want to spend more time with him during the day. He is off 3 days a week. And just like most moms would agree my best time is after the kids are tucked In and I get that last hour or two. I like to spend that laying in bed talking to him, or when the mood strikes being physical.

From 2pm when he comes home all the way to 9pm he is
Sitting on the couch watching tv
Playing video games
Or sleeping
Very rarely do I get help, I chase kids out of the kitchen when I'm cooking and put them on his lap and say watch them and 5 seconds later there they are. He says he will do his own laundry but I say no it's fine I just want help, he says np but nothing ever happens

I'm up from 6am-11pm non stop

I don't know what to do to get him off his ass, I love what I do but not when I don't get any time with him. I can't do anything when he is home bc I will start resenting the fact that I'm cleaning the house while he sits on his ass

Answer Question
 
wifey000175554

Asked by wifey000175554 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2012 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,898 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I haven't gone on strike yet and it would only be with him. I've thought of it but I've never been able to follow through
    wifey000175554

    Comment by wifey000175554 (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • Do you specifically ask him to do something. He offered to do his clothes (which is helping out) and you shut him down. The 8 year old is well old enough to help out. When he gets off work he is exhausted and would like to charge his batteries a bit. I did The same when I work out side the home and had kids.
    Get a playpen to corral the one year old. Assign the 8 year old to set the table. The 8 year old can also help with dinner prep.

    Frankly it annoys me when women SAH (as I did) and then complain because he doesn't help with daily chores. I don't mean taking you plate to the sink rinsing ist and putting it in the dishwasher, throwing your own trash away our getting your clothes to the laundry basket. It is the choice we make.

    When I orked OTH and had kids my kids helped and DH helped..
    Major chores are a different thing.

    He also need to stay on his work/time schedule or he will be useless at work.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:15 AM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • sorry- I agree with Darenella
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:28 AM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • So you say you never sit down through out the day? You are always on the go for like 12 to 15 hours.
    If I want my DH to help I just ask/tell him to help.
    Why don't you just hand him the kids and leave the house?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:14 PM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • Give him a list of things to do. Men are wonderful at lists. And since he offered to do his own laundry TAKE HIM UP ON IT!

    Going "on strike" will merely send a confusing message. He offered to help, you rejected it. Don't do that in the future. You want help, take it in WHATEVER FORM IT COMES. He won't do things the way you do them. That's OK! Just because you do it one way doesn't make his way wrong automatically.

    If you want help you MUST be specific. "I want you to wash the dishes. I want you to keep the kids OUT of the kitchen for the next 30 minutes." Don't just say, "Watch the kids" because he's WATCHING them go right into the kitchen!

    BE PRECISE. If you're not precise he won't know what to do. "I want help" is way too general.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:05 PM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • I have 3 children. Almost 17, 14 and almost 12. When they were 5, 3 and newborn; I was a SAHM for about a yr then had to go back to work outside the home for financial reasons. But I worked nights and he worked days. I've been there, done that. My ex hardly helped out with the house work, but he took care of all of the outside work and all of the vehicle maintenance. I still don't think it's too much to ask for him to help with the kids as they are his as well. Going on strike won't solve the problem. But talking to him might at least get it off your chest. Sounds like you could use a day or so off. .
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 10:29 PM on Dec. 16, 2012

  • You have to tell him where you need the help and when. My SO and I both work from home FT and we homeschool. There are days I walk into his office and tell him that I don't care what he decides to do for dinner, but I'm not cooking. I was trying to explain to him Thursday night that I needed some time off b/c I feel overwhelmed and stressed. He doesn't understand everything I do around here. I keep this place running smoothly, all meals cooked, children fed and clean, as well and the laundry and cleaning. Then factor in the school work prep, working on assignments, checking the homework, and again preparing the next day. I get how you are feeling, but you need to be direct and not expect to much in the beginning.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 12:21 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

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