Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do?

My daughter is one month away from turning three. She has done nothing but cry and whine lately to the point that my husband and I just can't stand to be around her. I feel like spanking her so much! She cries about every little thing and furiously cries. What can I do so I don't lose my mind?

Answer Question
 
lovetoteachec

Asked by lovetoteachec at 1:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Talk with her. Spanking her all the time is not going to make the whining stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Have you moved? Changed schools? Or anything that could be major changes? If so that can be causing it. I would take her to the dr and see if theres any advice they can give if nothing has significantly changed in her life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:39 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Yes we've gone through a lot of changes and the hardest one for her right now is that I am working from home now instead of just being an at home mom with her. This is really when the whining began. I didn't say that I spanked her all the time, I just felt like it. I try not to spank her at all in fact. Are there any suggestions about what to do?
    Thanks.
    lovetoteachec

    Answer by lovetoteachec at 2:03 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It's frustrating and grating, I know. First, though, recognize that she's likely acting out because of the changes and the resulting stress from those. What stands out at me is *what* changed. You went from being home and being mom to being home and working + being mom. You're stressed. She's stressed and she's not getting the attention she used to BUT she can see you there. A preschooler doesn't connect why you're there but not "there," you know? Can she "work" while you work? Set her up a desk with art supplies and give her 'assignments' as you're working. Ask her to draw pictures of her favorite things or 'write' a story, etc. When you're not working, take time to do something all about her. Give her the attention she's craving when you can and you'll see some changes. The whining itself? You need to ignore it. Don't yell. Don't respond. Do nothing other than say "I'm sorry, I can't (cont in next response)
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:16 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • (cont) "I can't understand you when you talk like that. If you want something, you're going to have to talk to me in a nice, big girl voice."

    She's crying and whining because she wants attention. She's crying and whining because she's confused and can't explain it or figure out a better way to get you to help her with those feelings. Recognize *why* and work with that instead of just lashing out at the symptom.

    Can you bring in a 'mother's helper' a few times during the week? I *have* worked at home and still do from time to time. People that think working from home is a great way to be with the kids and still earn an income have NO idea how wrong that notion is. It is near impossible to work WITH young kids in the house unless you can do it when they're in bed or have a helper around to distract them for a while. Kids and work don't mix.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:19 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster - great suggestions. Sorry you're going through this. Three is a tough age to begin with. I know you're frustrated. It is important to try not to do both work and kid time at the same time since you probably won't be doing a great job at either with dual focus. Make sure she gets some undivided attention - I read just a 15 minute interval (a day!) of undivided attention can make a big difference to kids.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:27 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.