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3 Bumps

How do I deal with a in-law that is mean to my child?

I am home for the holidays. We always stay with my husband's mother. My child is ADHD. He is a little hard to handle sometimes yes I know but he's only five years old. My brother-in-law is 30 years old & still lives at home with his mother. Enough said there. He is an alcoholic & ADHD himself. With no steady job, drivers license, or girlfriend he is ALWAYS home. Now my dh is a marine & he has to be in Florida for training til Dec 21st. So we are here without him til than. Since we flew here we have no car to leave & get out of the house. I am trying not to ruin Christmas for everyone but as a Mother my children come first. I don't care if I have to I will hurt this man if he hurts my child. When he drinks I have to put my children in our room & lock the door. We baracade ourselves in our room so we don't have to deal with him drunk. He is awful drunk. He hallucinates, swears constantly, gets mean, & he breaks stuff. He has fallen asleep with food cooking. This is insane.

He is so mean to my five year old. He will try to play with him one night by tossing around a football or throwing pillows but the next day if my five year old says two words to him he'll say "LEAVE ME ALONE" or "GET AWAY FROM ME". I already reached the point to snapping. I have already talked to him about how he is treating my son & nothing has changed. Last night I flipped on him. I was changing my 10 month old's diaper. My five year old likes to be a good helper & big brother. He asked if he could help. I told him that it was messy & I was almost done. He said he'd get me a plastic bag to put the stinky diaper in. I said ok. At my house the plastic bags are under the sink. So of course he runs straight to the sink to look for one. I told him that his mimi keeps them in a bag holder. He didn't understand of course. I was pointing at the bag holder but he thought I was pointing at the dirty dipaer next to me.

He ran over & picked up the dirty diaper & ran back to the sink to find a plastic bag. By than I was trying to get my 10 months diaper back on while she was rolling from me. So I couldn't get up & go help him. My brother-in-law came in the kitchen & saw my five year old with the diaper in his hand & looking under the sink. Not even knowing the situation he grabbed my son's arm & held him up by his elbow in a VERY uncomfortable manner & started walking him towards me. He said in a screaming manner "YOUR NOT PUTTING A DIRTY DIAPER UNDER THE SINK". Without thinking I jumped up & smacked my brother-in-laws hand to drop my child. I lost it. Of course I could smell alcohol on his breath. My husband's entire family is so naive towards this man. 70% of them defend him. What can I do but be the bad guy? This man is hating me more & more every day.

That's fine. I'd rather his whole family hate me than let my baby suffer through that. I don't want them to hate me but what can I do??? Please help!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Dec. 17, 2012 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Girl I dont care about hurting anybodies feelings or worry if they are going to hate me nobody is more important to me that my son and NOBODY is going to treat him bad. I will try talking again if that do not work I will pick my stuff and go back home I would not stay in a place where I have to barricade my room door because I am afraid of a drunk. Good luck

    Answer by Alisim at 11:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • honestly, if you had the money... get a cab and a hotel and stay there until your hubby gets in. I would let your hubby know as soon as you could so he could handle it. There is no reason for him to do that to your son. I would've gone off too!!

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • Don't stay there anymore, if staying there means putting up with this. It's not worth the stress and the risk of your child getting hurt by this man. I wouldn't let the kids out of my sight and just make he best of it since you're stuck there for now. But, for me, it would be a never again thing.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:36 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • If I felt my child was in danger, I'd call the cops. But that's just me.

    Answer by idareyou at 11:37 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • Op, if you are anywhere near Texas or even Louisiana please pm me. You are more than welcome to crash here until your hubby gets back.

    I will keep you in our prayers. Please update us and let us know you are okay.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 12:13 PM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • I would rather go broke then risk my children around a mean drunk

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • I agree totally. I would go for long walks with my kids if it is possible. Can you find out if there is a busline close that maybe you coul go to the mall or something? The only other suggestion would be to say in you room and not come out except for meals.
    Where is you MIL? I would speak to her and ask her to intrvene with her son as he grabbed him and hurt him and scared him. Could she please asked him not to touch your kids?
    In te future I would try not to get to the MIL's house until DH is there.
    I would also speak to my hubby about the rough treatment of your son.

    Oh and bring some plastic bags close to where you might be changing so your son is never away from you.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • Honey, your husband is a Marine. Just hang tight until he gets there and let him handle it. And I would never ever go back to that house.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 11:34 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • The more I think about this...geez...that man could burn the house down while ya'll sleep. Call your husband and get a hotel until he can get there.

    I'm worried for your safety now.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 11:40 AM on Dec. 17, 2012

  • I'd go back home now. The brother in law is totally out of line. HE IS THE ONE RUINING CHRISTMAS. Don't let him ruin your children's Christmas. Time to go home and have a wonderful Christmas with your children.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:40 AM on Dec. 17, 2012