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2 Bumps

I am confused and in a lot of pain. Can someone please give me advice?

My s/o and I have had a rough couple of years, he's been unemployed on and off and we have very little money now as a result. This and other stresses have made our relationship very strained. I try to be positive but he has changed a lot. He is almost never here, he doesn't spend that much time with his child, he's changed his appearance, and the worse thing he does is when we argue or even when we aren't arguing he just leaves. He goes to stay at his parents house. He's left several times without calling and telling me anything. I get so worried then I panic then I become so angry. I've begged him to stop doing this, but he just did it again last week and it's almost christmas. I love him but my child and I are suffering. He says he's not happy but what am I supposed to do. He just seems like he wants to relive his youth or something and his family hates me so they are happy he goes there so often now. How do I fix this, I want us to work. He's told me I am nagging and I criticize him but how can I not be angry when he keeps being so inconsiderate. I am nice now but it's not enough. He's never home when he says he will be. He's told me he loves me deeply and we will get married and he's depressed. We've been together for over 13 years. Please advice.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Dec. 18, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • It seems to me you need to give this relationship some air, the man told you he is not happy and from what you wrote neither are you...maybe some time apart will help you sort things out.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:32 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Has he seen a counselor?
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:33 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Honest opinion? It's over, or at least it should be. And, you've been together 13 yrs & he hasn't married you yet? Unless, you've been together since you were like 10, then sorry but, it sounds like he never will.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 4:37 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • No he has not seen a counselor but he should, and he's difficult to talk to. He's just changed so much. His family has a lot to do with it his siblings are single and enjoying themselves and they rub off on him as I said they hate so they would be happy if we weren't together.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:37 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • We didn't get married because I didn't want to and now we just couldn't afford it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:38 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Truthfully it doesn't sound like he wants to be with you. He justs runs off. No warning?   Just like that.   I say pack his stuuf and send it to his mommy.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:40 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Sorry but, that "can't afford it" excuse is BS. You may not be able to afford a wedding but, it only takes $50 to get married at the courthouse. So, I think both of you know it's not working out.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 4:41 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • The whole first half of 2012 was like this for DH and I. Never here, not mentally here even when he was physically. He was never happy and got angry over the stupidest things. Told me he wasn't sure he wanted to be married anymore. I don't really have any advice, because it wasn't until he kissed another woman that he realized he really did want me. You can't fix things on your own. He has to want to, too.
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 4:52 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • No he has not seen a counselor but he should,

    Uhhh, and what about you? It's not a 1-way street!
    idareyou

    Answer by idareyou at 9:09 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Relationship over. Sorry. It's not working out.

    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:15 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

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