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I'm losing faith in doctors .. vent

My GGM has had lung cancer for almost 2 years. Some time between her lung cancer diagnosis and today the doctors found out that it had traveled to her bones and she now has bone cancer. She has maybe a couple of months left. I'm so mad because the doctor didn't tell us. I feel like he stole my time with her away from me. We all thought she was fine until she started having excruciating pain pretty much everywhere and that's when they told us. Not only is it now too late for me to spend time with her while she's lucid (bone cancer is VERY painful, she will be on alot of drugs) we have been doing everything in our power to keep her healthy. She's had mammograms, thyroid radiation, eye treatments, all for nothing because she's dying of cancer. She's had t go through so many expensive and invasive treatments for basically nothing. How could he just not tell us? We could've had all of this time to mentally prepare for her passing and to spend time with her. I just want to drive up there and give this doctor an ear full!

 Thank you for letting me vent lol.

Answer Question

Asked by Hollyhock. at 10:44 PM on Dec. 18, 2012 in Health

Level 23 (17,209 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Are you sure he knew? When my MIL died of CA, it started as breast CA, metastasized to her lung and then her brain.   She was in remision from the breast CA for two years.   She went in for an exam and they found the spot on her lung.   After that, it was all so rapid.  She passed in about a month and a half.    Nothing they could do.  


    Answer by m-avi at 10:47 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • It's not the doc's place to tell you... that is your GGM's protected health information... HER info to tell or not to tell. This has nothing to do with the doc!! That's misplaced anger and it will eat you alive for nothing!!!


    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:47 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • You know for a fact he knew this and held onto the information for a while? I can't see a doctor not telling a patient what is going on with them when they find out new things. I am so sorry you guys are going through all this.

    Answer by kmath at 10:48 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • I am so sorry Hollyhock. I hope they can make it as painless as possiblein the time she has left. I am so very sorry.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:50 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • He said they found out when they did her CT scan which was like 6 months ago and they didn't tell her. She was recently diagnosed with dementia and my granfather has power of attorney and has had it for a while so she's not really in charge of her medical information.

    Comment by Hollyhock. (original poster) at 10:56 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • Unfriendly if your grandfather has power of attorney than he is in charge of the info, protected health info ;o(. If you going to waste energy being angry you should talk to him. Again.. it's not the doctor. Anger is part of the process of grieving... don't let it eat you alive... it is what it is, make the most of what time you do have left. My dad died suddenly at 44... what I wouldn't have given for one more day!! Please don't let anger ruin what time you DO have left!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • With all of her other medical needs the doctors have always talked to my grandfather. We didn't even know that her lung cancer was so bad. My grandfather and I just went with her to her cancer doctor 2 weeks ago for a check up and a port clean and he said nothing about either one. (the reason I went too is because moved in with her and I was going to be the one to take her to her appointments)

    Comment by Hollyhock. (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • I know my grandfather didn't know because he's very upset right now. Maybe the doctor didn't want to tell GGM and my grandfather wasn't around? I have no idea. I just don't understand. I'm not going to be bitter about this because I have no idea what the hell happened with the loss of communication. It was just so shocking.

    Comment by Hollyhock. (original poster) at 11:10 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

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