Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do you tell your bf that you want your baby's father to be in your baby's life.

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for a very long time, and recently my baby's father came to the picture after 8months of my son being born, it is a loong story by the way. He wants to be a part of my sons life, and I really want him to be there too. How do I tell my boyfriend that I want my son to spend time with his daddy. And my bf has been there for me and my son ever since he was born.

AM I BEING SELFISH?

Answer Question
 
vall11

Asked by vall11 at 12:49 AM on Dec. 19, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 9 (347 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Um no. Your baby's father should be a part of your baby's life, and if your boyfriend has a problem with it then HE'S being selfish.
    Hollyhock.

    Answer by Hollyhock. at 12:51 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • Just simply tell him. If your baby's father wants to be in his life, then you would be selfish to not allow it.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:05 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • Your not being selfish, your child should know his father especially if he wants to be involved. I am sure it would be a little hurtful for a man who stepped up to that responsibility of a child that is not his, and a year later bio Dad wants to be there after he has been the only one in a Dad role of your child. You should tell him how much you appreciate all he does and tell him bio Dad wants to meet the baby.Take it as it comes, bio Dad may say he wants to be involoved but I would just take it one day at a time since he hasn't been there.
    txnmomof4

    Answer by txnmomof4 at 1:08 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • You don't negotiate. If your boyfriend can't accept the father of your baby being involved, then he's in the wrong relationship. Whether he wishes it otherwise or not, there's another man involved with your child, and that's the one who helped make him.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:12 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • Your baby's father SHOULD be a part of his/her life. If you have a kid with him (which he so desires according to your last post), how would HE feel if your next boyfriend didn't allow HIM to be around??
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:29 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • Your baby's father has the right to be in is life. Your baby has the right to know his father. I think your bf will understand the situation better than you think.

    If you refuse to allow your baby's father in their life you are liable to have a court battle on your hands. It's much better to do things the right way, be civil, discuss, agree ...

    Good luck!
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 2:30 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • I think it should go without saying. A child should have their parents in their life.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:28 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • just tell him. if the babys real father wants to be a part of his life he should. just tell you bf that. plus if the real dad wants he can take you to court so better to work it out civilly than have a big fight.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:07 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • He knew when he got together with you that your child had a father. That this could happen posible one day. Just tell him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:38 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

  • Well, legally your baby's father has a right to be in your baby's life, even YOU don't have the right to keep him out. Morally, your baby has a right to his father, and if you kept him out if your baby's life eventually your baby would resent you. This isn't a choice you have a right to make. The bottom line is both the baby and the father have a right morally and legally to have a relationship, and the father has a responsibility to be in his child's life.

    Boyfriend should get this.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:43 AM on Dec. 19, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN