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What to do about my 9 year old...

I am at a loss on what to do about my 9 year old. He is my oldest so this is new to me. For the most part all of my kids are good and well behaved put these days my son is starting to get a mouth on him, will make a noise or complain if I ask him to do something and has an excuse for EVERYTHING!!! He also "forgets" to do his chores and what he is told to do. I know every child goes thru stages and this very well could be another one but how do you nip it in the butt before it gets out of hand? He has been getting things taken from him for his actions and of course has been getting yelled at which makes me feel so guilty!!! I'm at a loss...he is pushing all my buttons!!! Any ideas??? Thank you!!!


Asked by summernight at 2:56 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (5)
  • First off, I'm sending you hugs! I have three older children who have gone through this stage. I want to stress how important it is to keep your control (near impossible at times I totally understand), whatever you have to do, DO NOT YELL. They get more mouthy, tune you out, and come to totally disrespect you. I say this from experience and am NOT judging you! Sit down with him and make a behavior house rules chart and a chore chart (so that it is written down and he is less likely to "forget"). Let him know what the ramifications for his actions will be if he disobeys. BE CONSISTENT!! It is very easy to just give in. On that same chart, be sure that there is a reward for good behavior, (when you talk with him ask him what he would like to work towards, a trip to a local theme park, a fishing trip....) and he has to earn that with so many good behavior points and remembering his chores points. (continued).........


    Answer by blessed5x at 9:47 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Push his buttons back, make him notes all over the house, just stay calm and firm, he will come around mama...

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:03 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • whatever you choose to do stick with it DON'T keep changing your methods because you think they are not working. I have my ten year old write sentences I will not... or I have her write a page of what she did wrong, why, and what she is going to do different next time.
    Also if he is not doing his chores then he only gets his basic needs met food,clothes, and school.
    Once he starts doing his chores then he can earn t.v., friends, games, etc..
    Be firm, but continue to tell him you love him. If your religious like me have him read what the bible says about his behavior.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 3:58 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Children will outsmart you. DO NOT GIVE IN to anything.
    You are in charge, and make sure that he knows that,
    and respects that. Recognize his good behavior and
    tell him how proud you are, and punish his bad behavior
    and don't go back on your word. Going back on your word
    is a sign of weakness in his eyes.

    Answer by bronxcouture at 10:06 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • (continued).......If you teach him to set proper goals, what it takes to achieve them, teaching him reap/sow lessons, give him a focus, he'll learn that good behavior.....good choices....doing chores, respecting others in the home, self control.......reaps good rewards. When he behaves well, say to him "great job, you should be proud of yourself for doing ..... ". This gives him a sense of accomplishment for himself.

    Answer by blessed5x at 9:50 AM on Feb. 13, 2009