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Should I send a gift?

I received two gifts in the mail yesterday for my daughter, one from her grandparents and one from her uncle. We have been estranged for quite some time now. The relatives live locally, but we are not going to attend their Christmas party. I hadn't planned to send gifts, but the uncle has a three-year-old son. Should I send him something now? What about the grandparents? Should I acknowledge that the gifts have been received?

This is why the holidays are so hard for me. Unexpected gifts appear on the porch from a family who hasn't treated me or the ones I love well at all. Then I have to figure out how to respond. It's giving me a bad case of the Christmas blues. Honestly, I wish they hadn't sent anything.


Asked by Ballad at 12:58 PM on Dec. 20, 2012 in Holidays

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would at least acknowledge that the gifts arrived. "Thank you for the gifts" or something along those lines. I wouldn't worry about sending any gifts in return. The point of giving a gift is not reciprocity, but of giving something out of the kindness/goodness of your heart. If they expect something in return, that's their problem to deal with.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:27 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I would not worry about having to send gifts to them, but I would sit down and write very thoughtful and kind thank-you notes to them. Gratitude is always appropriate, and I would try to get the notes in the mail in time for them to arrive before Christmas.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:08 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • If you truely do not ever want to have any contact with them, mark the boxes return to sender and refuse them.

    It is polite to at least say thank you for the gifts.
    The rest is your choice. If it were me I would send a gift to the uncles young son.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I may send something to the uncle's son but not your parents. Maybe a card just saying thanks for the gift but that will be all up to you.

    Answer by Alisim at 1:08 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I wouldn't. I decided long ago to just focus on my immediate family. I tell my girls, no gifts unless they are handmade. My parents are not supposed to send me anything either, but they do. You can't spend for everyone, you'd go broke.

    Answer by m-avi at 1:01 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I'd send the Grandparents a thank you note from your daughter & I'd send the uncles 3 year old a stuffed animal.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:19 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • well idk I guess how long has it been since you have been estranged and how long has it been since they have sent presents, maybe its a way of trying to mend the relationships, a step towards a conversation, i really dont know, only you know what feels right for you.....

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:08 PM on Dec. 20, 2012