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4 Bumps

What would you do?

I'm leaving shortly for my 5yr olds class party. All morning I've had the little neighbor girl on my mind. I take her and my dd to school every day. They are bffs.

Well the kids are exchanging gifts during the party. We had to buy a girl gift for a classmate. This morning the little girl told me her grandma told her she didnt need to do the gift exchange. They can't afford it. I know they are having it rough. They don't even have a tree or any gifts yet.

I have her a gift under my tree. It's within the 5 dollar price range. Would it be too forward of me to bring it to the party so she can participate in the gift exchange? It broke my heart this morning when my dd hugged her and said she would share her gift with her. The little girl just light up smiling.

What would you do.?

Answer Question
 
texasgurl33

Asked by texasgurl33 at 1:19 PM on Dec. 20, 2012 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 34 (66,457 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I wouldn't do it without permission from her grandmother. We had children in school who's religion did not allow them to participate in that stuff. Never assume.... she might have just told that as an excuse. Check first.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 1:20 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • Oh dear. If you know they usually do have Christmas and gifts normally then, I would probably do it. But when in doubt it is better to err on the side of caution.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:23 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • They are Catholic so I know it's not a religious thing. Grandma isn't raising her either. I plan on giving it to her anyways. Idk...ugh. I'm so torn.
    texasgurl33

    Comment by texasgurl33 (original poster) at 1:23 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I would. Just tell the teacher you are doing that, maybe she doesn't have to know that you put it in for her. I would also get her another gift.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 1:28 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I would take the gift and let her participate. It would probably mean a lot to her. Fitting in with peers is important, even at that age. If you can, check with the grandma first, but it doesn't sound like a religious issue to me. And by the way, your daughter is a sweetheart.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:29 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • Depends on how well you know the parents. Do they know you already bought a gift for her? Do you think they would understand your good intent and not take offence (just a friendly gesture or an insult)? I'd try to find a way to mention it to the parents that you have another gift and are happy to let her have it for the exchange. Heck, you could even say you were thinking of bringing it as an "extra" for the class in case some kid forgot theirs (I'm okay with white lies).

    But if you really think the parents would take offense or refuse (my parents would have refused and gotten angry... they were poor but way too proud), I would bring the gift to school for her anyway (without letting the girl know) and then pull the teacher aside and mention that her family wasn't expecting to be able to participate because of hard times. Maybe the teacher can say they have some extra gifts for kids who didn't bring something for any reason?
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 1:35 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • Just do it & let the chips fall where they may. After all you are doing the Grandma a favor driving her Grand daughter every day so I doubt she'll get mad at you or at least show it.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:40 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • "I would bring the gift to school for her anyway (without letting the girl know) and then pull the teacher aside and mention that her family wasn't expecting to be able to participate because of hard times. Maybe the teacher can say they have some extra gifts for kids who didn't bring something for any reason?"
    Answer by Sebbiemama

    I would do this ^^^
    Alisim

    Answer by Alisim at 1:54 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • I wouldn't involve the teacher, I would just hand the child the gift for her to take in, call the mother and say you had extra and it isn't any big deal. I know times are tough, but before I would allow my kid to show up with nothing, I would sell my blood. God bless you.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 2:02 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

  • Maybe the teacher can say they have some extra gifts for kids who didn't bring something for any reason?"

    Except she might not be the only one, then what?
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2012

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