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I just dont find my husband sexually appealing anymore?? Does that make me a bad wife?

Me and my husband have been together for almost 8 years now. Over the years we both have changed appearence wise to an extent. My husband was and is still a good looking man but he has put on 20 lbs in the last few months and when he takes his clothes off I have become kind of Ugh!! I do not fin him sexually appealing anymore and have tried to help him by cutting out the junk food (by just not buying it) hinted around that we could work out together(have a gym in our basement and I workout on a regular basis to make sur I look good for him) but nont of these things are working. No, I am not and will not find a side fling just for the sex. l love my hsband biut just dont find him sexually appealing any more and it is making me feel like a bad wife?? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I am sorry, I don't really understand I guess. My husband has gained about 40 pounds since we met and I still find him just as attractive. I love him and was attracted to him for who he is. I honestly would still be attracted to him if he gained 100 pounds. So it's hard for me to understand where you are coming from. Maybe you both need to work on a more emotional connection. I am not bashing you at all. Our physical relationship is a direct connection to our emotional connection.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 3:25 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • your not a bad wife, it happens. i feel the same way about my SO. but ... i just stay bc im lazy haha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • i know what you mean, just dont think about the flaws so much and focus on the good:)
    havingaboy08

    Answer by havingaboy08 at 3:28 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It doesn't necessarily make you a bad wife but it makes you incredible shallow.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • You're not a bad wife, you like what you like and we're all like that, one thing you could try is telling him that you're concerned about his health since he's put on a little weight, I wouldn't say tell him he's fat, but let him know that it's much healthier to keep in shape and that you want him as healthy as possible as long as possible because you love him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • going through the same thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • People are busy being rude again. I'm sure guys feel this way all the time after women gain weight or have babies. Of course you love him for who he is, but that doesn't mean you think he is a hott as he used to be with a hott body. I would try to do some positive encouragement like during intimacy tell him you like his strong arms or find something to compliment him on...he may find he feels good about himself and start working out. I know that would be more motivational to me instead of someone saying I used to look better before I put on 20 lbs.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • If the roles were reversed how would you feel? If he said he wasn't attracted to you because you had gained weight you would hit the roof. The women on here would be up in arms if he said the same thing about you. Be honest. And be honest enough to say that it would not motivate you to loose weight. Sorry but I don't like double standards.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • hon im going threw the same thing with my husband and i know i dont look the same way aftering having my daughter but who does
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I feel the same way but not what he looks like but about his hygiene. The most turn-off for me is the way he treating me so badly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

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