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Do you believe children should be raised to question?

Do your children question you and your choices? Do you answer them with reasons or do you say because I said so OR do you just believe all together that your children should not be questioning your authority or anyone else's for that matter?

Answer Question
 
IzzeAddy

Asked by IzzeAddy at 4:28 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • didnt you just ask this? Or am I crazy? I swear I just answered this very question
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 4:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I just wrote out a detailed answer, too, and then it was deleted. Oh well.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:30 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Im still pretty new to this whole thing. So I apologize for messing that up.
    IzzeAddy

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 4:32 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I have taught my children that they can question something if it doesn't make sense to them, but that if they are told "because I said so" or some other variation, they should let it go. But, as a general rule, such as when I make a rule, or set a punishment, they do not question me. They also know that if the problem is with a teacher or other adult, they need to talk to me, and let me talk to the other adult if necessary.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:53 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I don't believe in punishment.

    I believe that we shouldnt have expectations of children in that they SHOULD be a certain way - we should guide and let them make their own path.

    If we need them to do something for us they we should say it is OUR need not theirs. If they say no that is their choice..they shouldn't be forced to do things they a parent wants them to do..they should make their own decisions.

    Of course in some circumstances this isnr always possible but it should be explained to them so they can understand.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:14 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • BOTH- they need to be respectful and do what they're told- ESPECIALLY during certain times/issues!(safety first!!) -however- I am not raising sheep- and if they feel something is unfair, or have a question or issue- then they may bring it up. At the appropriate time/place... we do not punish honesty. We may punish for a behavior- but if they are forthright with us, then we tend to be more lenient...
    mtnmama111

    Answer by mtnmama111 at 5:22 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I am not raising children...I am raising adults. So, yes...my children do question. They negotiate. They point out when I am unkind (by my own standards).

    But they also know boundaries. There comes a time when it is inappropriate to question. There are moments when the questions are left for later. Or when a decision has been made without their needing to understand. As they get older, there will be less and less of these as they will be empowered to *own* their own life and take responsibility for it while still under the umbrella of our family.

    Adulthood is tough...I want my kids to be ready for it.
    Kid_Coach

    Answer by Kid_Coach at 5:55 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Wow, I am pleased with answers so far! Usually you have someone on a power trip saying "I'm the boss, my kids do what I say and that's that". (Now I'm sure the posts that follow will say this).

    So, good job mamas for realizing your children are humans with curious and creative minds!

    I agree with other posters. My daughter is and always will be allowed to have her input and make her own choices (for the most part). But, there are some things that are ultimately my decision, like bed-time, putting your coat on in the cold, time to leave the park, etc. Even in those situations, I am willing to hear her out, even if she doesn't end up getting what she wants.
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:55 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It depends on what it is. If its something minor then I wouldn't care of they questioned it but if they are asking me why they have to wash the dishes or why they have to take out the garbage or do their homework then they are not allowed to question that.
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It depends on what it is......we are raising our son to be an individual. So he is allowed to ask questions and we respectfully answer him as best as possible. I love it because he's 5 and once I explain something to him he gets it. Our communication line is very open and I want it to remain this way. It works out much better when they are teenagers...I want him to come to me and his dad versus his friends.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 11:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

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