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How well do you know your child?

My daughter is in Kinder and I work full-time. I don't volunteer a lot in the classroom, so I'm not really sure of how the kids interact with each other. I invited a few of my daughter's friends over for a playmate and a few of the mom's stayed and chatted. One thing that one of the moms mentioned was how calm and quiet my daughter is in class. I was shocked because of how active and loud she is around me. The other mom kept saying how much she knows her child. I kind of felt like a bad mom because I didn't realize how my daughter is when I'm not around. One of the girls that came over, my daughter calls her "best friend". I didn't realize how mean this girl was towards the other kids. I didn't like it at all. I'm glad I know now how some of the kids in her class are. Am I the only one that is clueless about how their child is at school? I ask my daughter everyday how school was...who did she play with...etc. most of the time she says fine or doesn't go into detail. Is there something else I can do?

Answer Question

Asked by Ms.Maricel at 10:47 PM on Dec. 23, 2012 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 11 (533 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You can't really know unless you are there with her all day. Do you talk to the teacher? We have parent/teacher conferences where this stuff is usually discussed. Otherwise, I did go to have lunch at the school on Grandparent's Day. Maybe you could do something like that from time to time.....

    Answer by m-avi at 10:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2012

  • I WAH & my oldest is in Kindergarten. I know who her friends are but, she behaves very differently at home than she does at school. Her current teacher & her Pre-K teacher have told me that she's really quiet in class but, she is definitely not at home. So, don't beat yourself up too much.

    Answer by 3libras at 10:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2012

  • It's not unusual for your child to act very different when you are not around. It's a good thing that she is well behaved when you are not there isn't it? ;o)

    When you ask about her day ask specific questions. At this age they have a hard time giving small details when asked a very general question. Ask the teacher for a detailed list of regular events of the day... then you can ask "what did you do during your free choice time, who did you do it with?" "what was the topic of circle time" "did you do work-board today? What did you find?" (those were questions my DS's Kindergarten teacher told us to ask. Here are some other questions you could ask... Clicky


    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:57 PM on Dec. 23, 2012

  • I can sense her every word and always know exactly what she is thinking. But I have been studying her every day of her life and I don't work.

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:47 PM on Dec. 23, 2012

  • Yeah, I learned a ton by volunteering and going to class parties and field trips the first three years of their education. Now I know most of the students they talk about and I know what kind of kids they are. I really disliked volunteering but I had the time so I did it for my kids. I'm glad now but I can see where you feel a little disjointed about it. I think you talking to the other moms is a good way to get a pulse on your own child and other kids. Don't feel badly, not everyone can be in the class. Does your room parents have a Shutterfly account? Sometimes they post photos of parties or events or just instructional time. You can then peek at those pics and ask your dd who is who. : )

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:13 AM on Dec. 24, 2012

  • You might get to know everyone else's kids, but yours will still act differently when you're around. Other moms and I have compared notes about just that thing - none of our kids are the same when we're there and when we're not.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:04 PM on Dec. 24, 2012

  • We get updates several times a week at my request. I ask about how he does socially. I also go in once a week for a few minutes to chat. Since we have play dates regularly with friends from school it is not really a surprise at how he is doing. This year is hard be ause he is the oldest in his class and most of his friends are now in public schools are a different private school. Our solution is frequent play dates with friends who have switched to other schools. It is hard helping them navigate but I remember it is his job to experience it and learn and I only need to step in rarely if he is truly needing assistance.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:18 AM on Dec. 25, 2012

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