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I hate my in-laws and what do I do when my daughter is part of the problem.

My daughter and I had a few problems in the past year and she has been going to MY in-laws and telling them all my personal business. Now all my in-laws want to do is sit around and judge me as if I am a bad person. I feel like I have not done a thing to them but be nice to them. I have realize they are bunch of hypocrites who sit awround and judge people. I just left one sister-in-law house and I have never felt so uncomfortable before in my life. I have decided Ino longer want them to be a part ofmy life nor do I want my daughter involved in my life. What shuld I do and how do I handle this situation?

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AtlQTPIE

Asked by AtlQTPIE at 8:07 PM on Dec. 25, 2012 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Just stay away and let things settle down then rethink it all.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:11 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Do not make the first move to see any of them. Make them come to you. Weither it is calling or visiting. Let them do it. So if they never make the first move to see you it is not your fault.
    I have done that with my In-laws. My DH knows why I did it. I just told him. I am not stoping you from seeing your family. I just am not going to their houses again. And do not invite them here.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:16 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Personally, I think that maybe your husband needs to step in with his family. My mother in law has never liked me, she cut us off, but I kept trying because she's my husband's mother. My husband finally walked away, but I feel like maybe if he had interceded instead of giving up, maybe she would have been part of our lives for the last 25 years. It makes me sad to know that our boys don't know my husband's mother, although she lives nearby, that she wasn't part of our lives.

    And with my boys, I can't imagine anything they would do no matter how much it hurt that would make me choose to eliminate them from my life.

    This being said, I'm not in your shoes. Maybe a cooling off period before making any drastic decisions. Big hugs mama, it's always family that can hurt us the most.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:44 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • How old is your dd? Maybe quit telling her anything. Regardless, you don't need this. Just quit talking to them completely. When they finally ask, tell them why.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:14 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I think hate is a nasty thing to feel about anyone. I also think it might be wisest to wait a few days and allow yourself to calmly think over how you feel and where you want to go. You do not want to do anything in anger tat you might regret later.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:09 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Jeanclaudia has a good idea. Just stop telling your DD anything. Just tell her you are doing good. Don't give her any detail of your life. Tell her nothing. That way she can not go back and tell the in-laws.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:29 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Gosh, there is nothing my daughter could that would cause me to stop talking to her. Just step back and think about this before you do something that you'll regret. And like the others said STOP telling your daughter everything.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 8:58 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Your daughter sounds like a teenager, as you seem to tell her a lot of personal stuff, and perhaps she's too young to handle.
    Also, at this age she needs to "prove herself" so she's messed up.
    Calm down, hug her, and talk to her as a friend: "How would YOU feel if your best friend told everyone in class about this and that?"
    I am sure that if she puts herself in your shoes, she'll start to realize certain things.
    The other issue is.... Your in-laws seem to be connected, and you seem to stand out, perhaps on your own. Where is your family? Who is there to support you? Is your daughter influenced by them cause they are a big family, whereas you are on your own?
    Good luck! Make your daughter your friend and ally, as maybe she doesn't realize what they make her do...
    MamaaSutra

    Answer by MamaaSutra at 3:29 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • eek ok do not blatantly say you want to cut it off to anyone. like my old friend use to say, let it/ them "fall off." i know she is ur daughter and u probably still love her and she probably loves u but let time heal. keep ur distance and do not trust. use your instinct like you have been doing, feel the vibe and let that guide you. let time pass. good luck
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 4:05 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

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