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3 Bumps

Why have children?

Yes I understand the logical aspect of this, repopulation, the world must go on. Seriously as I was watching my Los open presents and enjoying them and their happiness I thought why? Ive stated before I never had the desire to have children. Nothing about it was appealing, you get fat, emotional, labor, breast feeding or swelling breast then comes the hard part raising them lol I know the exact night I got pregnant. My dh and I moved into our own place together and celebration led to us both blacking out and waking up naked asking what happened last night lol well I found out soon enough morning sickness another thing I forgot to add. Marriage was in our future but not a child or so we thought. I have to say I did enjoy pregnancy on an emotional level and I do enjoy my child but that is only because of one crazy night. She changed my mind.

So I wonder why? Is it pressure from socity, get married buy a house have children. An emotional desire ? Duty to repopulate? I thought what do women think when a woman doesn't want a child.... Is there something wrong with her?

Not sure where to put this.

 
skinnyslokita

Asked by skinnyslokita at 11:29 PM on Dec. 25, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • No, there are some people that just know that they don't want to have children. Maybe it's a fear, maybe it's something indwelling, but either way, I honor them for their brutal honestly. If you do not want children, don't have children. I know, I understand, sometimes it doesn't work out that well... but just think if everyone seriously thought it all out BEFORE hand.... That's something that's a choice.

    I can understand where you are coming from. I never saw myself having children either, but unfortunately, I had sex at a young age, thought I was seriously in love and wound up making a child....

    I wonder what the statics are for those that actually plan their children vs. those that do not. I bet it's a lot higher for those that do not.......
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:34 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Since I always wanted children and helped raise not only my brother buth my 4 nephews, I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into.
    I never wondered what would be thought if I did not want them and the very real possibility that I would never have children was upsetting on a personal level not a public one.
    Since I also think it is not only fine but very good that a woman does not have a child if she does not want them.
    I guess I am not really able to give you a very good answer.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:37 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • My child was a surprise, though anything but an unwelcome one for me. Conceiving, bearing, and raising a child has been the most meaningful thing that ever happened to me, and something I always knew I wanted. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with a woman who doesn't want children. My mother wasn't cut out to raise kids, and she didn't enjoy it, which led to a very unhappy home. But as long as you can nurture your children and provide for them, and not resent them, I don't think not having wanted them to begin with is good or bad. How you feel is how you feel. It's how you act that matters.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:38 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I'm reading the book, "We Need To Talk About Kevin" and I see where you are coming from.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:44 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • As a teen I Never wanted children, they didn't appeal to me at all. Then I met my now husband and he told me he wanted children and couldnt imagine being with me if I did not want them so I began to reevaluate my thoughts. Then my sister had my nephews and it changed everything and I couldn't imagine not having any. All of a sudden I went from never ever having kids to wanting four. Then I had my first and was like whoa, he could be ab only child, then we decided to try one more, hopefully a girl, and got another boy. And we're done.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:51 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I really wanted to have children, and as my coworker asked the other day "you'd have 50 of 'em if you could, wouldn't ya!" Yep! For me, it is almost a force of nature. I instinctually WANT to care for children, and I take a lot of joy in seeing them grow and the day-to-day care. I love seeing myself and my husband in their little personalities, and I love the feeling of giving these babies a GREAT life. That doesn't just mean material things, but love, a good education, the ability to explore their world, build friendships, have siblings, pets, etc. I love every bit of being a parent.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:27 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I agree with that skinny.... I can't imagine myself without my children now....

    maybe looking a little less stressed.... LOL!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:44 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I can't imagine myself without my little girl now, and my stepson as well. I truly enjoyed all the mayhem of Christmas today, and I've spent some very quiet ones on my own in the past.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:56 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Oh I have to clarify that it's the book I am reading, not anything I have going on in my life.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:03 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Well I'm about to blow the lid off this one. And I'm staying anon because I love my son very much. I was raped at 21 yrs old. An unwanted pregnancy was the result. I had tried to bring myself to abort the pregnancy but I just couldn't. The child was not responsible for existing. The rapist got away. I gave birth to my son fully intending to give him up for adoption. But when the nurse handed him to me, I looked at his little baby face and my heart went out to him. I loved him instantly and I could not give him up. He was my son regardless of the situation. I prayed alot back then because I was afraid of being a single mom, but God blessed me with a wonderful husband and father, and a new little sister for him. I love him more than ever. He was the greatest gift of all because he made me realize what love and faith is capable of. My son is heaven sent and I would have it no other way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Dec. 26, 2012