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3 Bumps

Why have children?

Yes I understand the logical aspect of this, repopulation, the world must go on. Seriously as I was watching my Los open presents and enjoying them and their happiness I thought why? Ive stated before I never had the desire to have children. Nothing about it was appealing, you get fat, emotional, labor, breast feeding or swelling breast then comes the hard part raising them lol I know the exact night I got pregnant. My dh and I moved into our own place together and celebration led to us both blacking out and waking up naked asking what happened last night lol well I found out soon enough morning sickness another thing I forgot to add. Marriage was in our future but not a child or so we thought. I have to say I did enjoy pregnancy on an emotional level and I do enjoy my child but that is only because of one crazy night. She changed my mind.

So I wonder why? Is it pressure from socity, get married buy a house have children. An emotional desire ? Duty to repopulate? I thought what do women think when a woman doesn't want a child.... Is there something wrong with her?

Not sure where to put this.


Asked by skinnyslokita at 11:29 PM on Dec. 25, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • No, there are some people that just know that they don't want to have children. Maybe it's a fear, maybe it's something indwelling, but either way, I honor them for their brutal honestly. If you do not want children, don't have children. I know, I understand, sometimes it doesn't work out that well... but just think if everyone seriously thought it all out BEFORE hand.... That's something that's a choice.

    I can understand where you are coming from. I never saw myself having children either, but unfortunately, I had sex at a young age, thought I was seriously in love and wound up making a child....

    I wonder what the statics are for those that actually plan their children vs. those that do not. I bet it's a lot higher for those that do not.......

    Answer by m-avi at 11:34 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Since I always wanted children and helped raise not only my brother buth my 4 nephews, I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into.
    I never wondered what would be thought if I did not want them and the very real possibility that I would never have children was upsetting on a personal level not a public one.
    Since I also think it is not only fine but very good that a woman does not have a child if she does not want them.
    I guess I am not really able to give you a very good answer.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:37 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • My child was a surprise, though anything but an unwelcome one for me. Conceiving, bearing, and raising a child has been the most meaningful thing that ever happened to me, and something I always knew I wanted. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with a woman who doesn't want children. My mother wasn't cut out to raise kids, and she didn't enjoy it, which led to a very unhappy home. But as long as you can nurture your children and provide for them, and not resent them, I don't think not having wanted them to begin with is good or bad. How you feel is how you feel. It's how you act that matters.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:38 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I'm reading the book, "We Need To Talk About Kevin" and I see where you are coming from.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:44 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • As a teen I Never wanted children, they didn't appeal to me at all. Then I met my now husband and he told me he wanted children and couldnt imagine being with me if I did not want them so I began to reevaluate my thoughts. Then my sister had my nephews and it changed everything and I couldn't imagine not having any. All of a sudden I went from never ever having kids to wanting four. Then I had my first and was like whoa, he could be ab only child, then we decided to try one more, hopefully a girl, and got another boy. And we're done.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:51 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I really wanted to have children, and as my coworker asked the other day "you'd have 50 of 'em if you could, wouldn't ya!" Yep! For me, it is almost a force of nature. I instinctually WANT to care for children, and I take a lot of joy in seeing them grow and the day-to-day care. I love seeing myself and my husband in their little personalities, and I love the feeling of giving these babies a GREAT life. That doesn't just mean material things, but love, a good education, the ability to explore their world, build friendships, have siblings, pets, etc. I love every bit of being a parent.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:27 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I agree with that skinny.... I can't imagine myself without my children now....

    maybe looking a little less stressed.... LOL!

    Answer by m-avi at 11:44 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • I can't imagine myself without my little girl now, and my stepson as well. I truly enjoyed all the mayhem of Christmas today, and I've spent some very quiet ones on my own in the past.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:56 PM on Dec. 25, 2012

  • Oh I have to clarify that it's the book I am reading, not anything I have going on in my life.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:03 AM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Well I'm about to blow the lid off this one. And I'm staying anon because I love my son very much. I was raped at 21 yrs old. An unwanted pregnancy was the result. I had tried to bring myself to abort the pregnancy but I just couldn't. The child was not responsible for existing. The rapist got away. I gave birth to my son fully intending to give him up for adoption. But when the nurse handed him to me, I looked at his little baby face and my heart went out to him. I loved him instantly and I could not give him up. He was my son regardless of the situation. I prayed alot back then because I was afraid of being a single mom, but God blessed me with a wonderful husband and father, and a new little sister for him. I love him more than ever. He was the greatest gift of all because he made me realize what love and faith is capable of. My son is heaven sent and I would have it no other way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Dec. 26, 2012