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7 Bumps

Marriage is hard, right? We all say it and talk about it. Why is it so hard?

Did we pick the wrong guy? Ignored the red flags? Are we too selfish and stubborn to meet halfway? Do we put up with men because we're trapped? Is it a financial issue? What are the fundamental necessities that make a good marriage and why is this SO lacking in countless relationships?

The one thing I think cannot be overlooked is respect. It's vital to a decent marriage.

 
jeanclaudia

Asked by jeanclaudia at 8:17 PM on Dec. 26, 2012 in Relationships

Level 32 (56,918 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • imo it depends on the ppl. its never just one issue, its all of them. respect, honesty, compatibility, trust, sex, finances, love, compromise, and a good mix of alone time vs couple time vs family time. DH is my best friend and i think that what makes our marriage feel easy 97% of the time.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 9:57 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Respect each other, it is the most important thing.


    My husband and I have been married for 67 years.grandmagrandpa

    Natesmom507

    Answer by Natesmom507 at 9:49 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I think marriage can be hard because most people are unwilling to look at themselves first. It's easy to nitipick our partners, but not to look at our own flaws. Men most want respect and women most want love. If either party isn't getting what they most want, then they will be unwilling to give the other party what they want. So basically, someone needs to be willing to put forth the effort or change first and if the other person cares, they should eventually follow suit. Not sure if it made any sense, but that's my thought.
    hatagaj

    Answer by hatagaj at 8:21 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Mine isn't hard at all
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:25 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I think the 3 main fundamentals of a good marriage are 1. communication 2. sex 3. finances. Almost any argument or issue in a marriage is traced back to one of these.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 8:33 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I think some marriages are hard and some are not. Mine has been easy, and I think part of the reason for that is that we're so much alike, we're best friends, and we have been together since we were very young. We've built our whole lives together instead of trying to fit each other into our separate lives. Respect is absolutely a must. Communication and friendship as well.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 9:25 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • One word. Compromise. We go most of our lives doing exactly what WE want. Even when we date the person we marry. Then once your married, you have to do what the other person wants some times. Sometimes it's NOT what WE want to do. We have to make another person happy too! Someone who is not even a blood relation! LOL! We are born free spirits & suddenly our wings are clipped. Sounds sad but it is part of growing up. That's my opinion anyway.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:42 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Marriage is hard, but that isn't always a bad thing. When you're together for a long time, it's hard no matter what. Not because there's no love or respect, etc, but because people change and sometimes keeping up with the changes becomes challenging, even in the best marriages. Kids, finances, the ever changing world around us... these things are always throwing us into some new challenge.

    The biggest reason that most marriages fail is because people don't know how to work through those challenges.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 10:00 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • If its that hard you married the wrong person. People always say marriage is such hard work. When I was with my ex I thought it was too, but now I know how incredibly easy marriage is when you're with the right one. We've been married 5 years and still in wedded bliss!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:13 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I think part of the problem is that we've expect our marriage partners to meet all of our needs for life, and that just isn't going to happen. We don't depend on our families as much now as people used to, especially since sometimes we live thousands of miles away. So we want partners who are competent in the workforce, good in conversation, great in bed, skilled in the kitchen--no one can be everything. Everybody's strung-out crazy busy, a lot of times juggling debt, stress, and God knows what else. So making time for each other has to be a priority. Then too, marriage was probably always hard, but divorces weren't as easy to get as they are now. Women didn't used to be financially independent, so leaving wasn't an easy option.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:09 PM on Dec. 26, 2012