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Venting! My stepson made me cry today!

Well today when we were at the dinner table my stepson asked a question to my husband, and then said that I didn't know because I wasn't his family! I told him if I wasn't his family then my son wouldn't be his brother or what about the baby in my stomach. It just hurt my feelings!! Maybe it's the pregnacy hormones? My husband didn't say anything, my stepson is 6/12. I have been in his life since he was two. I just can't believe how rude he was.. I'm so upset and sad....

Answer Question
 
mellyhayes

Asked by mellyhayes at 10:27 PM on Dec. 26, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 7 (159 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • He's 6 years old. His filter isn't firmly established yet. He didn't mean to be rude; he just said what was on his mind without thinking. I get that it hurts but try not to let it get to you too much.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:28 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I would be more upset that dh didn't say anything to him about it honestly
    BeautyGuru

    Answer by BeautyGuru at 10:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • to him "family" is mom, dad and those that are immediate. You have to just let it go, he is a child and can't process grown up things yet
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 10:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • I am sorry you were hurt and certainly hormones tend to heighten feelings. He is not yet 7 and he is probably just repeating what he has heard. I am sure he did not mean to hurt you.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:30 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • He might not have meant it. My son says this to my boyfriend sometimes (we're engaged). I tell him that if he wants him in his life, than he's family. Just reinforce that you cook and clean and do everything family would. I agree, you're husband should have said something but you can say something too. You don't have to keep your mouth shut just because you're "the stepmom." It makes no sense to have everything go through your husband.
    SaraD1989

    Answer by SaraD1989 at 10:34 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Yes I'm upset with my husband maybe he didn't think it was a big deal.. And I didn't want to make it a big deal.. But i did talk to him in private about it. He's a very smart boy and I felt like he meant it to hurt me ,he look at me with a smirk.. My husband just told him to eat and be quit.. And that when I told him you are related to me and that's why you live here also with me.

    mellyhayes

    Comment by mellyhayes (original poster) at 10:47 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • *quiet
    mellyhayes

    Comment by mellyhayes (original poster) at 10:47 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • what was the question
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:59 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Your husband should of piped up & said something nicely to him when he said that, but yes he is just 6yrs old, I have on!e and they can say the weirdest things at times, try not to take it ot heart too much.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 11:36 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

  • Yep, that was hurtful, and inappropriate. Your hubby definitely should have said something.

    My husband never considered my oldest son his "step" son, he was always just his son. He raised him from age four. My son never said anything like that to my husband, but if he had I would have definitely had a talk with him. Maybe your stepson is feeling concerned about his place in the family with a new baby that will belong to both you and his dad? (Is this your first?)

    I would tell him that yes, we are all family, families are made from love, and I consider you my family, and let him know that it hurts that he would say that you weren't. I'd also talk to your husband about this. He should support you and talk to his son now, while he's so young.

    Good luck mama, and I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:51 PM on Dec. 26, 2012

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