Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Would you allow your fiance to spend the nite at a friends house?

First I need to tell you some background about us. I have premature bone loss, 2 fractured hips that have metal holding them together and a 11 month daughter. Now there are days I can't even walk and other days I"m fine. I live in 24 hr pain. I have a hard doing stairs also. Now on my bad days my fiance does everything while I stay in bed, on my good days he'll get a break and I'll do what I can and take care of my daughter but for carrying her. Also her bedroom is a flight of stairs below us.
The other day my fiance asked if he could spend the nite at his friends house alone while I stay home w the baby. Now the friend only lives 20 min away. And my fiance doesn't drink either so he can't say it's for safety. He can't understand why I'm so upset and why I got mad. He said noone else would and I could spend a night at a friends. Wll for one I wouldn't even want to.
So am I over reacting?

Answer Question
 
mamacutie64316

Asked by mamacutie64316 at 8:17 PM on Dec. 27, 2012 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • No, why does he need to spend the night? Why not just go over, visit, and come home? You never know how you might feel later that night, or in the morning and you can't carry your baby? It's not worth it.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 8:20 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • I would understand if he needed to stay there cause he was going to have some drinks and for safety reasons stayed, or if he needed to catch a ride with him to his job/catch a flight and the distance was out of the way, but I would wonder, why is a grown man staying over at a friend's house?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • A male friend or another woman? Does he just need a break? It does seem like an odd request, but then again, jealousy will only harm a relationship.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 8:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • Why does he want to spend the night? I just don't get that. When my dh and I were engaged he went on a camping trip with his friends and I was fine with it but when he was in town he wanted to be with me.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • He knows you have problems and he want to do this? If my DH said that to me, and I was you. I would want to know why is it so important to stay the night over their? Kind of suspicious to me. 


    I would tell him, " You are and adult, do what you want"  I would inform him he is acting susicious.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:24 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • Is he wanting to spend the night as in sleep there or is he wanting to stay up all night playing video games, talking, watching movies, etc?

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 8:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • I would let him go because I am not his parent. I would let him not calmly that you need him to help with your daughter.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • "Allow"
    I can neither allow or forbid SO to do anything, and vice a versa.
    Would I be upset, yup!
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 8:26 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • know lol
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:27 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

  • That's pretty annoying. I would not be able to spend the night away for no good reason if my SO was in the shape you are in with a baby to boot. Not cool.

    There is no forbidding in a good partnership, there shouldn't have to be. He needs to rethink his priorities.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 8:29 PM on Dec. 27, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN