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our 13 yr. old is being raised by his Grandmother. He is rude disrespectfl to her. Whn she asks him to do things to help out he ignores her.

He lies about things she asks pertaining to school. when he visits with his mother h lies to her. We are trying not to drill him about what goes on at with parents when he returns. But instead he voulenters information just to stir things up and make trouble. I'm guessing so everyone wll be mad at each other an not talk. Even though it's not working. He's stealing goodies and sneaking things to and from school. He's getting bad grades, etc. We are trying to not let it escalade into worse behavior. Hei taking advantage of thefact tht his parents are split up to get away with poor behavior

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mommacatluvr

Asked by mommacatluvr at 6:31 AM on Dec. 28, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Not sure about the whole back story on why he's away living w/ Gma, but from the sounds of things, this whole family is in need of some serious counseling. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:09 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Well it's time to break a boot off in his ass, strip him down to bare necessities. No going out, no friends, no electronics, clothes that you pick out ( I prefer no name brand stuff) and make him earn it all back. He'll if you have to go to school with him for a few days, follow him around, make him sit with you while he does his homework and keep in contact with his teachers. I don't even wanna know why his grandmas raising him just because his parents split up ( lame exscuse ,IMO). If he's being raised by grandma because of that maybe he's a little pissed off and feels like his parents dumped him and don't want him.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 8:13 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • He sounds angry and maybe he has a right to be, but the adults in his life need to get together and come up with real consequences for his actions.  They also need to demonstrate to him how much they do love him, not just say it but activily engage with him in activities that will bring them together. 

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:44 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • He is acting out because his family life is disrupted. By him doing bad things it is his was of looking for attention. I REALLY think he should be in counseling NOW! Start with calling the school Psychiatrist. Explain the family situation & see what help the child can get to manage his upset. He is too young to understand why he is feeling this way & what to do about it. The adults around him are not paying attention to this need. He needs help ASAP before he spins out of control. I feel bad for the poor kid. I cannot imagine how he feels with his Mother & Father dumping him on Grandma. How would YOU feel if you were him. He need LOVE :(

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:30 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • BTW, It shocks me when I hear other responses to beat him. WTH? His life is in tatters so you recommend inflicting pain on him? He is NOT a dog, he is a human being & the result of what the adults in his life have done to his well being! How sad! Help him! There should be a law against this!

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:33 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • You say our 13 year old so if you are not the mother then who are you?
    Why is he living with grandma in the first place?
    Are you sure of all the facts?

    I am raising my 12 year old grandson and he rarely sees his mother and then only supervised but there was a time when she was setting him up for bad behaviour and telling tales there was a point in time wwhere the father was ignorig him or just angray and willing to believe anything, so of course he acted out.
    To many unanswered quwstions to rearly say anything to you except get counseling.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:13 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Pauline no one said beat him lmfao, you're rich.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:17 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • So you didn't instill any sense of discipline or respect in him, he got out of control and you sent off to grandma's to live and now he's not respecting Grandma (because he was never taught respect or discipline at home before) and you're wondering NOW what you can do to help him and get him to listen? Yeah th whole family is dysfunctional and need of serious counseling. Poor kid and poor grandma.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Sounds to me like the kid is pissed and acting out cause his parents dumped him. If you and your S/O are co concerned with how he is acting, why the hell arent you raising him? This oy is probably mad and scared because all of the adults in his life seem to e only wanting to force him off on someone else. Has anyone ust flat out ASKED him why he does what he does? You may be surprised at his response. I suggest counseling FOR ALL OF YOU, since it seems no on in this situation is really connected to it.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • 13 is a tough enough age, but to be living with grandparents can add to it... I should know, I am raising a grandson
    and he is now 11, but unlike OP, our gs is extremely well behaved and adjusted to his situation...
    Now not knowing the bk-gd of why this child is living with his grandparents, it sounds like he is looking for attention from all
    sides and is in a way getting it bc NO ONE is trying to correct his behavior which is wrong. He needs counseling and the family
    needs to be more involved with him. I would be badgering him as to what is being said during visits with parents, talk to teachers
    and school counselors and get them involved. You need to step in and nip this before it gets worse....
    GL...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 2:18 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

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