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My adult step daughter is disrespectful toward me. She mimic's something that I say, quietly but just loud enough for me to hear. It is passive aggressive behavior. She does not help out in the kitchen, does not pick up her dog's poop from my deck, etc. My husband finally can see this on going issue my way. Since the step daughter lives in San Antonio and we in Wisconsin, we only see her twice a year. What should I say to her when we confront her?

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sparky8226

Asked by sparky8226 at 9:05 AM on Dec. 28, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would let your husband do the talking, and you just be quiet, I assume she has some kind of resentment towards you, but if it comes from you she won't listen. Let her Dad take care of her, and be thankful she doesn't live down the street, lol!
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 9:12 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • How long have you been married to her dad? How recently did her parents split up? If this is fairly recent, I might let it go for awhile. My parents divorced when I was 23. They'd been together for 24 years. I felt like my entire life was a lie, and like there was no safety net under me any longer. If on the other hand you've been together a long time, and she should be used to this, Dad should have talked to her long ago.

    Either way, I agree that it should be dad that talks to her, this is his daughter, he loves her. You don't want to cause damage to a delicate relationship, you want to work on building the relationship. I would just be your best self. Treat her the way you want to be treated regardless of what she does, and try to build a relationship with her.

    Good luck !
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:57 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • I wouldn't confront her.  You see her twice a year it's not worth the all out war.  It's really up to your DH to talk to his daughter right at the time something is going on. 

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:59 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • In the end this is your husband's daughter and his responsibility, the lack of respect to the dog poop. Mostly dirty dishes are a sign of a poor house guest but that is what she is acting like. In the end it is only a short time every year and sometimes deaf ears and blind eyes are the better way to go.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:20 AM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • "we" should not confront her... her Father should discuss this with her...

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • You need to stay out of the conversation. This should be strictly between father and daughter!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • So you expect visitors to do house chores at you house. When they come visit. Now the dog thing is different. Tell her do not bring your pet. Or tell your DH too.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Let your husband handle it.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 3:40 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Sounds like she is trying to get you irritated. Don't give her the satisfaction. And I agree, your hubby needs to say something.
    donnabc

    Answer by donnabc at 5:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Tell her and her dog to stay in a hotel during her visit
    starfire59

    Answer by starfire59 at 6:03 PM on Feb. 7, 2013

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