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3 Bumps

Ohio student wins stalking orders against parents...

http://www.12newsnow.com/story/20440609/ohio-student-wins-stalking-order-against-extreme-helicopter-parents

Sorry, I can't do a clicky. Do you think she should repay her parents the tuition and pay her own damn way? I sure as hell think so.

Answer Question
 
texasgurl33

Asked by texasgurl33 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 34 (66,448 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Requiring the collage woman (she is a woman, not a child) to refund her parents depends on whether there a prior agreement about paying it back under certain conditions. The article didn't get into that. Otherwise, no she shouldn't have to refund the money the parents gave her. The parents can choose to GIVE their adult children anything they want, including money college tuition and living expenses, but they don't have any right to demand it back after a disagreement.

    However, I totally agree that she is completely on her own now.

    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 1:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • I agree with layh41407. Sense she is an adult. She could have just told her parents to stop paying her bills. That way they could not play the "I pay for all your school stuff I have a right to be nosy"   I would like to know why she didn't do that.


    I hope she never needs them  for anything in the furture.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • They probably helped by out of the kindness of their hearts, as I'm sure most parents who could afford to do that, would do for their own children. However, they crossed the line & majorly invaded their grown child's privacy & tried to defame her. I think if family counseling is out of the question, she will need to cut all ties with those overprotective control freaks & venture out completely on her own.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • No. I don't. Just because you're paying for college doesn't mean you get to do the things her parents were doing. Fk that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • She took their money for all those years KNOWING what they were like. If she didn't like it she could have cut them off at any time and did it on her own. Instead she has waited until she was almost thru and then cut them off. Sounds to me like she took and took until she could do it on her own then she cut them off. She needs to anti up and pay them at least a portion of what they paid for her education.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 3:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • It sure sounds like her parents are crazy stalkers.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 3:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • If parents pay for college it is a gift. And when we give gifts we do so without expectation that the receiver pays us back or owes us anything. We gift because we love or care. I hope. Of course she does not have to pay them back. If it was a loan then a document with a legal notary should be drawn up. When I borrowed 20,000 from my parents it was done so properly. With time tables, a monthly payment, and interest. It was not a gift. There was an expectation of getting their money back. It was a loan. If this young woman's parents gifted her the tuition that is the end of it. If it was a loan then specifics needed to be documented. Personally, I would never sign a loan giving anyone permission to spy on me. Creepy. Good for her taking those whack jobs to court. I am sure she is well aware this means cutting off any kind of support. It seems obvious she really does not want them to offer their "support."
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • I don't think she has to pay back what she was given, but if she wants to cut ties (and I can see why...), then she's on her own from now on.
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 1:42 AM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • The thing is, being raised by people who are emotionally enmeshed (don't recognize or safeguard a child's boundaries) impacts HOW a person develops & what they can achieve, in terms of emotional independence. Codependence involves manipulation & control. It limits the emotional differentiation a child can develop.
    The parent who gives & gives, but always somehow with strings (guilt, obligation) attached, tends to over-give as an unconscious strategy for getting love. It's a matter of trying to assure closeness by making children remain dependent. Giving money can be a strategy to block the motivating influence of reality & to mute the need to work & to grow independent.
    It's not just a clear-cut matter of "choosing" not to take their money (or "choosing" the strings that were attached) at age 18, because the development of such independence is cultivated & supported, or discouraged!, by the environment in which you are raised.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:21 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • I agree with girlwithC. The parents were way out of line.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:57 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

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