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3 Bumps

Ohio student wins stalking orders against parents...

Sorry, I can't do a clicky. Do you think she should repay her parents the tuition and pay her own damn way? I sure as hell think so.

Answer Question

Asked by texasgurl33 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 34 (66,457 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • she won her privacy. she shouldnt repay them. they chose to pay for her schooling. but she shouldnt expect them to pay another dime. if she is that amazing - i am sure she can win some scholarship!

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:38 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I agree with girlwithC. The parents were way out of line.

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:57 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • The thing is, being raised by people who are emotionally enmeshed (don't recognize or safeguard a child's boundaries) impacts HOW a person develops & what they can achieve, in terms of emotional independence. Codependence involves manipulation & control. It limits the emotional differentiation a child can develop.
    The parent who gives & gives, but always somehow with strings (guilt, obligation) attached, tends to over-give as an unconscious strategy for getting love. It's a matter of trying to assure closeness by making children remain dependent. Giving money can be a strategy to block the motivating influence of reality & to mute the need to work & to grow independent.
    It's not just a clear-cut matter of "choosing" not to take their money (or "choosing" the strings that were attached) at age 18, because the development of such independence is cultivated & supported, or discouraged!, by the environment in which you are raised.

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:21 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • I don't think she has to pay back what she was given, but if she wants to cut ties (and I can see why...), then she's on her own from now on.

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 1:42 AM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • If parents pay for college it is a gift. And when we give gifts we do so without expectation that the receiver pays us back or owes us anything. We gift because we love or care. I hope. Of course she does not have to pay them back. If it was a loan then a document with a legal notary should be drawn up. When I borrowed 20,000 from my parents it was done so properly. With time tables, a monthly payment, and interest. It was not a gift. There was an expectation of getting their money back. It was a loan. If this young woman's parents gifted her the tuition that is the end of it. If it was a loan then specifics needed to be documented. Personally, I would never sign a loan giving anyone permission to spy on me. Creepy. Good for her taking those whack jobs to court. I am sure she is well aware this means cutting off any kind of support. It seems obvious she really does not want them to offer their "support."

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • It sure sounds like her parents are crazy stalkers.

    Answer by SWasson at 3:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • She took their money for all those years KNOWING what they were like. If she didn't like it she could have cut them off at any time and did it on her own. Instead she has waited until she was almost thru and then cut them off. Sounds to me like she took and took until she could do it on her own then she cut them off. She needs to anti up and pay them at least a portion of what they paid for her education.

    Answer by baconbits at 3:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • No. I don't. Just because you're paying for college doesn't mean you get to do the things her parents were doing. Fk that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • They probably helped by out of the kindness of their hearts, as I'm sure most parents who could afford to do that, would do for their own children. However, they crossed the line & majorly invaded their grown child's privacy & tried to defame her. I think if family counseling is out of the question, she will need to cut all ties with those overprotective control freaks & venture out completely on her own.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • I agree with layh41407. Sense she is an adult. She could have just told her parents to stop paying her bills. That way they could not play the "I pay for all your school stuff I have a right to be nosy"   I would like to know why she didn't do that.

    I hope she never needs them  for anything in the furture.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

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