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What would you call this?

OK, my best friend. She is pretty non confrontational, but i think I'd say she is a tad passive aggressive. She and her husband are expecting their first baby in february. her hubs is a army medic and she is a MFT. OK so her MIL (his mom) is super hypocondriac and thinks anything and everything is going to kill her or her children, always thinkning the worst is going to happen and they feel she is always being negative, etc. so I text her that I am taking my 4 yr old to the ER b/c for the 3rd time in a week he has complained of a headache and is now crying out in pain holding his head, gave him motrin and before the dr at ER saw him he was fine. Same thing next day, we are seeing his pedi about it and he has another attack, DR sends us to ER fr CT scan. CT scan clear, considering MRI. So, she texts me this morning that her husband is curious why we think he needs an MRI...so i explain the details of what happen, his screaming out in pain, yelling "what is happening to my head" etc. she responds with this: "huh. well, i am glad the CT scan is clear"
I ask if her hubby has any insight, she says "not really, he is not here to know the details" and then "well, poor guy, i hope it just passes"
SO, my issue here is mostly b/c i feel like she is putting me in a box with her MIL and thinking i am over dramatizing this b/c her husband "knows so much"
What would you call someone who in response to a loved one being on the extreme side of a topic (her MIL thinking everything is death) decides to go the opposite and think that EVERY ONE AND EVERYTHING is being blown out of porportion? I mean HOLY COW, If your child kept screaming "what is happening to my head, hats going on?" would you not be concerned?
And before anyone gets a wild hair up you know where...He IS NOT like this EVER, this is totally out of character, we minimize bumps and bruises and he rarely cries if ever over injuries, even when there is blood.
But seriously, im ready to omit her from updates b/c i cant stand the condescention! AAAAHHRG!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Not to be overdramatic, but if that attitude continues with her own children, I'd call it a serious concern. My best friend growing up had an abusive mother. She (the mother) worked in the PICU. Every childhood illness and complaint my friend had was blown off, because in her mother's mind, it wasn't as bad as she saw at work. Which is why my friend went an entire weekend with a broken ankle until the school nurse called an ambulance on Monday.

    There were other issues (the woman had an entire basket full), but that's the one that always stood out to me. She'd come over and my mom could clearly see she had a fever or her throat was swollen, but at home, she was whining and needed to shut up.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 7:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Let us know what's up with the headaches. He's not sneaking icees is he? Hope it's nothing serious!!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Geez I agree with you if my daughter were to do what your son did I would be at the emergency room too. You are doing the right thing. My sister is like your friend she minimizes everything. You take care of your son and don't worry about her. Take care and let us know what the doctor says about your son. Good luck.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 8:24 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • Some things you minimize but something like that, heck no. You do everything needed to find out what is harming your child.
    Please let us know what happens and I do hope it gets resolved soon.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:58 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • i agree put your child first and if your friend is making you feel like a horrible parent than i woudnt go out of my way to inform her only to get treated that way!
    Good Luck with your son - hopefully you guys figure out the problem soon!!
    futurebabykar

    Answer by futurebabykar at 10:59 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • thanks ladies. i feel so supported. i will try to remember to inform you when we find out whats up. hoping ots just migraines...that we can handle. i had them and so did hubs so we will do whatever it takes to care for him despite her responses. thanks for the affirmation i needed that
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • we figured it out! by the suggestion of my mom, we put away the Christmas tree and decorations...turns out there had to have been something that was on them from being in the garage that he was reacting to. It makes sense b/c we relised it started the day after we put them up and they stopped the day after we took em down, thank God! We also took him to my uncle who is a chiropractor, his neck was pretty tweaked. He is doing well now, thanks again for your concern
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Jan. 8, 2013

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