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5 Bumps

Rude, spoiled, and unloveable step-daughter.

I have been with my bf for over 2 years. He has a 5 year old daughter who is unbearable. She's spoiled, smart mouthed and hateful. But her Dad and Grandmother thinks its all funny ad cute. I do not. I do not exist when she is around. I cannot sit, talk to, or even sit beside my bf. currently I haven't been spoken to in 2 hours. She drives me crazy and I usually count down the hours until its time for her to go home. That's horrible that I have to feel that way, and I do want to love her buying just can't. I'm almost to the point of packing my stuff and leaving my soul mate over his bratty kid. I've tried to talk to her dad about this but he gets mad and tells me to get out of his house. Help!

Answer Question
 
AidenMommy13

Asked by AidenMommy13 at 9:06 AM on Dec. 29, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (68)
  • If he doesn't see it as a problem, I'm afraid you really only have 2 choices: end the relationship or suck it up and deal with it. Personally, I'd go with the first option.

    You've tried to talk to him - he's made it abudantly clear that to him, this is acceptable behavior. Obviously, most of us do not agree, but that's what he thinks, and it's his daughter. Every time you try to bring it up, he's just going to get mad and order you to leave. And since she's his daughter, she's not going anywhere. So you can spend the rest of your life counting down the hours until she leaves and being treated like crap while she's there, or you can decide that this is not acceptable to you and you deserve better, and move on.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:10 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • There isn't a lot of options.  He's her dad and the parent.  Are there any activities you can do with her that would help improve the relationship.  Maybe you can ask your bf to help work on one thing about his daughter because you want to improve your relationship.  It's difficult without really knowing what she says or does.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:14 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • She's not your step daughter lol. You have a choice just deal with it or leave.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:57 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • I don't see a future for this relationship. He's chosen her over you and he will continue to do so. You either accept that as the basis for your relationship with him, or you move one.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:04 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • @funlovinlady she is pretty much my step daughter, even thought I am not married to her dad, I take better care of her than he, or her mother do. How long have you been a parent? I also have an 8 year old son that knows how much trouble he would be in if he acted like this.

    AidenMommy13

    Comment by AidenMommy13 (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • Why would you want to stay in an unbearable situation? As a parent, you know you should put your child 1st. He may be overcompensating & looking the other way on things, b/c his time w/ her isn't what it used to be. If he doesn't see a problem w/ her behavior, then you're fighting a losing battle. If you can't figure out a way to improve things with this little spawn of your soul mate, then I suggest you end things sooner rather than later. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:15 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • I have no idea why I would want to stay in an unbearable situation. I love him and I have since I was 17, I am 28 now. But he has made it very clear that he wants to be the "cool" parent and pretty much let her do whatever. Not in my house. I am dying for another child. I mean I'm not getting any younger, but he has made it very clear that he doesn't want anymore kids. So I asked him why? He said that he could never ever love another child like he loves her, and doesn't want her to ever feel like she's second best, and doesn't want her to feel like she's not important. What. The. Heck. Really?
    AidenMommy13

    Comment by AidenMommy13 (original poster) at 10:28 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • I'm 18 plus yrs sweetie. How are you a better parent then her own when she won't acknowledge you exist & you're on here bad mouthing her & saying you can't love her and you count down the hours until she leaves. I hardly call that being a great parent.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 10:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • If you can't even agree on your parenting styles, guess what will happen if the 2 of you have a child together?! You will be the sole disciplinarian & they will run to daddy to get whatever they want. You will grow to resent him, only now you're more invested b/c you have his child now. I'm sorry you have to much time invested in this guy, but honestly, what future do you have w/ a man who does not at least meet you half way on the basic fundamentals?

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

  • And that's assuming he agrees to another child, which is what YOU want. That is another strong urge that will cause you to resent him, if you are denied fulfilling it.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2012

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