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How can I correctly discipline my 4 year old son?

I am a really quiet woman who is kinda nervous to discipline her four year old child. Sometimes I discipline him but it takes nearly 45 minutes so I let his dad do it because sometimes it takes a long time. I want him to know I am an authority figure as well. Does it normally take that long and how can I get him to calm down with just me and not adding his father into it?

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Asked by PresKadie09 at 6:41 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • i will tell you honestly i spank my son. he is 2. i dont beat him but a swat on the butt. be consistent and do not baby him. good luck

    Answer by SThompson21 at 8:06 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Why does it take 45 min? Catch him and time out or spank or whatever your preferred method is. Be the authority, don't just want to be the authority. Just Do It!

    Answer by MariElizbeth at 8:15 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • How does your husband discipline that makes you feel you cannot discipline likewise? You're right that you need to find a way of disciplining your child that suites your personality type, but you also need to work with your husband so that he supports you as an authority figure in the house. A couple of key elements when it comes to disciplining a child is to make sure you have a strong positive relationship between you and your child. If you don't, then you may want to start focusing on the positives, like catching your son at a behavior that you want to see more of and praising him for that. Remember that a positive discipline builds relationships, but a negative discipline (always yelling, ignoring or spanking) can take a lot out of a relationship and can damage it long term. I would also suggest you read up on different discipline techniques so that you can find something that works for you...

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:19 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • cont. One book I would suggest is Parenting From the Inside Out by Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell. This may help you discover what it is inside you that makes disciplining your child difficult for you. You can also check out his website: Another website I recommend is Remember that however you choose to discipline your son, consistency is key, even when it seems like it's not working! Children learn best when rules and consequences are held consistently every time. Make sure that when you ask your son to do something that you have him repeat it so that you know he understood. Give him clear consequences if he doesn't do as you ask and make sure you follow-through. Never make a consequence you can't or won't follow through on. It's takes a strong will sometimes to follow through, but remember that it's in your son's best interest to let him know that you are serious.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:28 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • cont. I also recommend you sit down with your husband and work out a set of house rules and consequences that you both can agree to and each be able to follow through on whenever the rules are broken. Present them to your son as a united front and let him know what the rules are, what the consequences will be and it does not matter which parent is following through - he will need to learn to accept that you are both parenting together and that the father is not the sole authority in the family. If you and your husband are consistent and united, then your son will learn that you, too, are an authority figure to be respected in the house. He will also see how adults should work together and not separately. Good luck!

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:33 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Say what you mean and mean what you say with him. He knows he can play you and he will continue to as long as you allow him to!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

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