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6 Bumps

How didnt i know my own 15 yo was going through this?

i found and read my dd's blog today, shes 20 now but this happened when she was 15....now that i read this i feel bad for biting her head off when i found out shes ditched school, and spent an extra $20 for food i knew she wasnt eating.... 

 

"i was 15, had just moved to my moms,and registered for the nearest school. the day i started there i saw him sitting by himself looking sick so i walked over to him and asked if he wanted me to take him to the nurse or walk him home or something. he just looked at me and said no that he would be fine after he drank what was in the old water bottle, his breath wreaked like my dads drinks so i knew he wasnt drinking water, so i handed him my water and told him to drink that instead of what was in his bottle. i then walked away and bought him a bagel, handed it to him and walked away again to try to find my class.

a couple days later he walks up to me and thanks me and asked if i had any friends at the school yet, i said no so he sat with me. he jokingly grabbed my comic book i was reading and said "how the hell do you read this? its backwards?!" i showed him how and we talked the rest of lunch, then he showed me where my class was and went to his own class. during my class after lunch i managed to slice my finger open (yay science class) so i started walking up to the nurse, i see him sitting with a bunch of people smoking whatever, it smelled horrible, not like weed since iv smelled it before. he looked up at me and i just kept walking,got a bandaid and started walking back to class, i saw him puking in the trash can and his "friends" laughing at him. the next day he finds me before school and asks me to go out with him later that night i told him "if you want to date me you have to quit doing drugs, drinking, and smoking" he looks at me with his eyes wide and says "deal, when i come to school next week on friday will you go to LA with me" i smiled and said "if you come to school next week clean ill go to LA with you" so he got clean,and he came to school while having withdrawls that next friday, we never went to LA. i just took him home and made sure he was comfortable until his brother got home, we've been dating ever since"

shes still with the man from the blog post, they've been together 5 years and have a one year old.my dd was an honor student, if i had known all that i wouldnt have yelled at her

now my question is if your found out your 15 year old was doing things like this and hanging around a boy like that what would you do (i obviously didnt know what was going on until 5 years later)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Dec. 30, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (11)
  • Sounds like you raised a wonderful daughter. Maybe it's a good thing you didn't know.
    As moms we want to protect our children and can't imagine they'd be mature enough to handle someone like him.
    He's very fortunate she came into his life.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • This is hard. She has done the right thing through this and helped another person. That is what life is about. I'd do nothing but applaud her for sticking by someone's side when they needed help and keeping her own life clean at the same time. She must have really seen something in this boy.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • I can imagine you're shocked. Try not to judge him if possible because none of us want to be judged for our actions in high school. Certainly sounds like he is a different person and a good Dad and husband/boyfriend.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:14 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • she is fine, she is a mom now and I am sure not kowing the reasons, she would be upset if her kids were skipping school etc. You did what moms do, glad she is a wonderful person and that because of her he changed and has become such a great man.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:30 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • I'm sure you're more proud of both of them by knowing what they've experienced together.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:21 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • @jeanclaudia he's an amazing young man, stuck with her when she got pregnant 3 months out of high school, got 2 jobs to pay for everything, told her she didnt have to work until the baby was 2 years old. i just never knew he had done stuff like that, i never would have guessed it if i hadnt read it either
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:11 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • @jeanclaudia oh no im not going to judge him, id be a hypocrite if i did
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:17 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • i am!!!! i just feel awful now that i know why she ditched school and spent so much extra money on lunches and breakfasts
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • Could you tell her you read her blog post and that you are proud of her for seeing potential where others didn't, and reaching out? She sounds like just the kind of strong young woman we need in the world today.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:56 AM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Well, I see this a little differently. What if she had said no to the dating and being a straight A student gone on to college and had a fantastic career instead of a baby?
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:45 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

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