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Help with my grandson touching himself

My grandson is 9 years old he lives with me his mother is abroad and his dad I just don't see him talking to my grandson because he would need to know how to deal with himself. I have 2 older sons but I don't recall them going through this stage. He started last month he is always going to the bathroom several times a day. He says that he is looking at himself in the mirror. He then touches his pants his private area constantly when I ask him he says it scratches or it bothers me. I had the talk with him about his body and changes I am fortunate that we have a comfortable relationship, but I want to do the right thing. If anyone can help me please do.


Asked by Mimacheri at 9:04 PM on Dec. 30, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Pros and cons of touching? LMAO! Sorry but there are no cons. If he doesn't have an infection there is no con. He is on the bathroom in private. So he's doing zero wrong. If he is not playing and prefers to spend all day in the bathroom then that is a problem. But if a few times a day he excuses big deal. He could be very stressed out. Masturbating is not always about sex and typically isn't at his age. At his age it is about self soothing behaviors. It feels good, it's comforting, and it can relieve anxiety. He sounds like a good kid who has found a way to self soothe.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:56 AM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • It's his, he's allowed to play with it, but ONLY in his room with the door closed, and never in public. And he must wash his hands when he is done.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 9:06 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • He may have a case of jock itch if he says it is bothering him. May not be a bad idea to check with his ped.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • If it really itches get him some gold bond or some anti-fungal cream, and make sure his underwear isn't too tight. Touching himself in private is NORMAL... ignore that. But when he's doing it in front of you simply ask him if he needs some medication for that or ask if he needs to see a doctor for it... that usually embarrasses them enough to stop. (this works... I worked 8 summers at a boys camp... they usually don't even realize they are doing it!!)

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • I agree that touching himself because he enjoys it is not a problem- it is very common- he just needs to be taught when it is and is not okay to do so but I still think that if it is bothering him you should seek medical advice.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • Oh, at that age, he might be growing hair there and it could be irritating him. Talk to him about it. Tell him it's okay, but if he's going to be examining himself, he needs to do it in private. Also, if it is hair, he can clip it off or shave it... he may not know that.

    Answer by m-avi at 9:15 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • Do you feel it's excessive? Gosh, what is excessive....I don't know but you want to be very careful to not shame him. It's probably normal so be careful.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • You may want to take him to the pediatrician...they can look him over and give you their advice. Plus they also may be able to talk to your grandchild about the pros and cons of "touching" - he may be touching himself so much that it's infected or yeast infection?
    Check with the dr. they would be the best solution.

    Answer by madmueller at 10:18 PM on Dec. 30, 2012

  • This is a general response to everyone. Yes, his underwear were too small I purchased the next size. It isn't an itch that is constant it's from time to time I gave him bb powder with aloe he uses it sometimes. He doesn't touch himself publicly that is why he is always in the bathroom. I am also teaching him how to be private while in the shower etc which he s doing well with. It's these bathroom breaks that I was concerned about.

    As I see it is a normality but I will keep a check and ask him questions from time to time just to know.

    Thank you all ouff!

    Comment by Mimacheri (original poster) at 9:20 PM on Dec. 30, 2012