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Should i give up?

my soon to be husband had a vasectomy 9 months ago. i didnt want it but i went along with it because he wanted it. He never went and had his count done so i just pray everyday that it didnt take. i want us to have a baby so bad, i know my chances are slim and he is totally against having it reversed. i have read alot of storyies about people getting pregnant after the vasectomy. is there anything i can do to help my baby fever or up the chances of me getting pregnant?

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wishingforabump

Asked by wishingforabump at 11:49 AM on Dec. 31, 2012 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • He had a vasectomy. Unless you're going to cut him open while he sleeps, there's nothing you can do to "up the chances" of you getting pregnant. There's pretty much no chance.

    If you really want to have another baby, then maybe this isn't the man you should be marrying. Even if you could find a way to get pregnant, the fact that he had a vasectomy indicates, quite clearly, that he doesn't want (more) children. Which means if you did get pregnant, he probably wouldn't be too happy about it.

    I suggest you take some time to do some serious thinking about what's most important to you: having a baby or spending the rest of your life with this man. If it's the second, then let go of the idea of having another baby. If it's the first, then you need to let go of this man and find someone who does want children.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Get a job at a daycare.... that should cure anything....

    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 11:54 AM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • I completely agree with what Wendy wrote. The time to discuss your feelings with him was before the vas, not after. It's too late now. So, you have a choice to make
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:57 AM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • I guess I'm a little confused as to why he would get a vasectomy if he knew you wanted to have kids. I agree with wendythewriter, he clearly has indicated, by getting a vasectomy, that he doesn't want children. If you really do want a child with him, then there has obviously been some poor communication in the relationship. That's not healthy for a marriage at all.

    And for what it's worth, dh had a vasectomy after our youngest was born. That was 10 years ago...
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:59 AM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • in his mind he is completely done having kids. and he didnt really take in consideration what i wanted. now its done there isnt much i can do. i really do get depressed over the idea. i dont want to leave him but i hate the fact it will never happen. i google every day chances of getting pregnant with a vasectomy, and peoples stories of getting pregnant after vasectomy. i have the worse case of baby fever right now. he gets aggravated with me when i bring it up so i thats why i tried to share my thoughts on here. one time my period was late and he said if it happened it was ment to be and we will have a baby, that made me want one more!! he never went and got his sperm count after his vasectomy so in the back of my mind i still have that little bit of hope that he has some swimmers ....
    wishingforabump

    Comment by wishingforabump (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Unfortunately for you vasectomies are 99% effective against pregnancy so you might as well accept that you will never have another baby.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 12:12 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • He doesn't want kids, you do. You fight over it. You shouldn't be getting married.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 2:21 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • thanks for the comments ;)
    wishingforabump

    Comment by wishingforabump (original poster) at 2:26 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Spunds to me like he will accept it if it happens but you need to be prepared for him to be exceedingly unhappy about it. TRo the possible point of calling off the marriage.

    If you actually want a baby because you want to raise another adult (don't kid yourself, that's what it's about.. NOT about cute cuddly newborns who are in reality NOT all that charming-they're noisy demanding and between-changes-smelly critters who grow into even more demanding toddlers-kids-teens)... if that's your goal, then find another man to have that future adult with.

    If you're just looking for the awww factor, stay with your current man and consider a pet instead.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:17 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Yeah, my husband (since 06/27/2009) is overweight, has raging diabetes, and has low testosterone count. That honestly might be better then a damn vasectomy apparently. ...And I've said that to say this:

    If he got a vasectomy, and you want a baby.....do you really want to stay with him?

    Even if he warmed up to the idea of a baby....what's the chances honey? Slim to none. Have you thought about adoption? You can adopt babies too. (I was an adopted baby, and I've turned out wonderful!) Have you talked to him why he did that? I had a friend who has his guys snipped, and he told me it was because his mother had HORRIBLE pregnancies with each of his siblings...and he couldn't bear the thought of his future beloved going through that. He said he'd love to have children, ones that were adopted. Plus, there are more children then our poor world knows what to do with.....sorry if I'm rambling. Just hope everything turns out okay.
    SaraUre

    Answer by SaraUre at 10:40 AM on Jan. 1, 2013

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