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More of a vent then a question...

We have a cat that comes around our house and the kids love her! They are both allergic to dogs so we can't nor do we have one. I suggested to dh that we get a cat b/c they were not allergic to it, and neither is he b/c I did a little experiment by letting them play with it then go in and love on daddy. hehehe. I know that was probably mean. Anyway, Dh has never had a cat he has always had dogs and is allergic to them. He said he would think about it and did he came to the conclusion that he hates cats and since being on his own he noticed how disgusting animals were. Anyway, his mom wants the kids to have a pet just as much as I do so she gave me cat food to feed my neighbors indoor/outdoor cat (the one they play with.) I did not do this b/c I did not want to make dh mad. He found the cat food and flipped out on me! He told me that if I ever brought a cat into the house he would move out and that he would not stay in the house with that thing, but he wouldn't be leaving me. I told him he was being silly and it was just a cat, would he really leave me over a cat? he said since I wont stop talking about it he actully started to think about where to live! and that if I wouldn't stop talking about it that he would ignore me or hang up on me whenever I brought it up. I am upset b/c he said he would leave me over somthing so trivial and small. Idk, I brought up pets today and asked about a ferret b/c he was once going to get me one, and said he spoke to someone and they said the one she has is a terror and tore up her house so now no ferret. I love animals and I want a pet. Maybe I should stop making him angry. I am afraid if I don't quite I am a pushing him out the door, and he WILL leave b/c I'm nagging. I don't feel he has a vaild argument for not wanting a pet. I have been in houses were people have animals and you would never know unless you saw it... *sigh* He got so upset that I brought up this cat that his voice broke and it sounded like he was going to cry! he said I'm not listening to him, but I am trying to I just think he is being silly, ya know.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Dec. 31, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Give him some time and talk to him later about a short trial period with the animal and if he doesn't want the cat he can rehome the cat. My DH was against us getting a cat, 8 years later we have two cats and the trial cat brought him to hysterics when he got sick and we weren't sure if we could afford to treat him.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 7:50 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • You can't force a pet on someone. To be fair it's not like he's hidden his feelings,  you've known all along how he feels.  Also just because the kids aren't allergic to that cat doesn't mean when one is actually living in your house full time it won't be a problem.  I never had any pets growing up and I wished I had but it's wrong to bring a pet in a home if it  possibly need to be rehomed later because everyone isn't on board. 


    Try fostering pets first this way you aren't keeping the animals from finding potential forever homes, it's a way to ease into it and maybe your DH will find one that fits his personality. It's also a good way to really test your kids for allergies. 

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:55 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • sometimes it takes more than just a kid playing with a cat and loving on dad to see the allergy, most times its the dander more than the hair.
    My husband has made it clear that there would be NO pets in the form of a cat or dog in this house. I do not push it because I knwo if I chose an animal over his feelings, he would indeed leave.

    And honestly I would deserve it for chosing a pet over a spouse. So yes i do believe you husband is serious and I would tread very carefully. My mother in law and sil brought a puppy into our house KNOWING that 3 of us are allergic, it was a very nasty conversation to be honest.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 8:04 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • the part were he said he would leave me took place two weeks ago, him telling me he was ignoring me happend today, and I suggested the fostering of a cat just to see, and he walked away just ignoring me. What I said was "listen I just want to say about the cat before you freaked out on me. We could just foster one and not tell the kids so they would think he was thiers for about a month just to see how things went, and if they went badly then we could rehome him." he glared at me said I was talking to myself and walked away. I also said that I didn't want one right away b/c we were up to our eyeballs with house construction so maybe a year.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:04 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • He has never said NO PETS, as a matter of fact he has a bad habit of getting close to buying me one having me pick it out then backing out, and changing his mind to nope never mind. *sigh* I guess to get my animal fix I will go to school to become a vet. lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:07 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Ohhhh be careful. I am allergic to animal hair.... Cats and horses are the worst! I have no idea why.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 9:28 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • I'm sorry I can't image someone saying they'd leave their wife and children over a cat.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 31, 2012

  • Yeah, I was a bit shocked by that also.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:37 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

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