Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 YEAR OLD NO JOB, LACK OF MOTIVATION FOR COLLEGE...HELP

We took our 20 yo son in when he was 14. He had been expelled from school & his mom had no idea how to handle him. He was exhibiting self mutilation & anger outburts...btw this was the 2nd time this happened...we had him in 6th as well.
I put him in counseling, and he is now on antidepressants and ADD meds. A couple yrs later, he hooked up with a girl he is still seeing...she is limited intellectually. At first she was good for him, now not so much...but I digress.
He graduated HS and exhibited no interest in working. So, community college it was.
He has no job, does not answer his phone or his messages. He has to be leaned on each time it is time to sign up for classes...I've asked him and he SAYS he wants to go. He has failed Algebra 2x. This past semester, I asked him about how he was doing and gave him info for the tutor service at the college...FREE. He failed anyway. He is so not living up to his potential.

Answer Question
 
donnabc

Asked by donnabc at 4:10 PM on Jan. 1, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • " clean up around the house"

    You've probably already thought of this but, ... make sure you have a list of chores to be done. It's very easy to say that everything looks ok and that nothing needed doing (having done this myself I'm speaking from experience - lol) or to just not know where to start.

    Good luck - you're definitely on the right track!
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 5:07 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • winterglow, I know, right?! Never ceases to amaze me that he can walk by the sink full of dishes all day long and never "see" they need to be done until I tell him!
    He will have projects he will be working on. First up: sorting all this clothes into keep, give away and throw away.
    donnabc

    Comment by donnabc (original poster) at 5:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Just wondering how that worked. I have a 19 year old son in a similar situation. Withdrew from college after doing nothing, now at home at community college, going to classes but not working, spending most of his free time on the internet. He's obviously depressed but avoiding by staying on the internet all day. He lies about trying to find a job, about what he's doing. Should i kick him out? He's disrepectful though not doing drugs or anything like that.
    ilovedash

    Answer by ilovedash at 7:21 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN