Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Can you make me feel better? :(

I want to be able to feel beautiful with out my dh thinking anything of it he's really lowered my self esteem...I do not wear certain things bc he'll freak out not to mention I used to have very low self esteem on my own but when we got married we fixed that and now I feel really pretty...but being a mom and wife I just don't feel like making myself up...anyway I mean for one it takes time and when I get home I don't feel like taking it off I'm like what a I just rather not wear any make up or do too much.

What can I do to make myself feel better without anyone telling me anything negative?
I don't want to disrespect my dh but he is very insecure I just wish he would shake that off...

Thanks Ladies for making me feel "Special"

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jan. 1, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • maybe just different and new clothes?
    im not much use im afraid i have huge self esteem issues, so i know how u feel x

    Answer by san78 at 4:23 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • First off... You need to dress as you want to and tell your husband to go suck an egg. I have never let my husband dictate what I should wear or how I should wear my hair. Now I am not saying going all hoochie momma is okay, but if you are comfortable, he should be too.

    As for the makeup, that is up to you too. I know that I always feel better if I put on some kind of makeup. Nothing too crazy, but a little something.

    What exactly does your husband say to make you feel bad?

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:26 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • @ SleepingBeautee...
    Well one day we were visiting his family out of town and my SIL asked me to come over to her house to pick up some stuff bc we were all going to hang out she has 2 teenage girls too and my SIL like too dress alittle out there compared to be Im a lot more conservative while her girls dress like teenagers my SIL does too she has very good taste in clothes but like I said alittle out there for me. On this day my SIL & my nieces asked me to try on some clothes just for fun so I did...I felt pretty but didn't feel too comfortable to go in public my SIL took a pic and sent it to my dh...OMG! Hell broke lose he started saying that I looked cheap and that I better not wear that out. He made me feel like crap even though I wasn't gonna wear it :( (My SIL & my nieces apologized for getting him upset) I was don't worry about it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:33 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • a person can sport conservative but attractive clothes at the same time. You can still wear a skirt and tights with heels and look nice. Depending on age, maybe skip the mini skirt and four inch heels. Maybe go for knee boots or lower heels and a skirt just above the knee? As for makeup, often less is more. Do your eyes with a pale lip or just do your brows, mascara and clear lip gloss. Not a lot of effort but you still look nice.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:39 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • Can't you find a happy medium between whore and school marm?
    A little powder,mascara,and lipstick can go a long way
    Clothes that accent your shape without being too tight or revealing
    Play up your best feature

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:40 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

    Even just a little make up can change your outlook on life, get yourself a new wardrobe - but find a person that can really help you find your look! That in itself will change your feelings.
    Start hanging around with different people, positive attitude will boost your self confidence 100% - it's the ones that are so down that will bring you down!
    Your husband it sounds like is very depressed - you don't have to dress for him! You dress for YOU!
    You know you felt good dressing like you did with the SIL, they could possibly be the ones who will make your day!

    Answer by madmueller at 4:41 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • The only one that can make you feel pretty is yourself never give anyone the power to make you feel ugly. Unless your husband is drop dead gorgeous he has no room to talk about your appearance. Everyday tell yourself you are beautiful, smart, and a worthwhile person and dress the way that makes you feel pretty and walk around believing you are pretty and other people will think it too because you are confident with your appearance.

    Next point tell you need to talk to husband about the fact that you are his wife and not his child unless you are trying to leave the house in clothes that make you look like a hooker he needs to calm the fuck down.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 4:43 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • More than what you DO is what you THINK. You're too old to be swayed by the opinion of ANYONE but the woman in your mirror. If your husband was to drop dead this instant, how would you go about your life? How would you dress or make up your face?

    Do it now. Life is too short to be living it at the whim of other people.

    Trust me on this. I used to make myself crazy with "perfect" clothes and makeup because my dad was hypercritical. Then one day I really gave it some thought and realized that people liked me as I was WITHOUT all that "perfection" in my day to day life, and I started doing what *I* wanted. Dad got over the fact that I refused to wear lipstick.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:09 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • I divorced my first husband who spoke to me like that. After a few months on my own, I began to feel special, beautiful and worthy. My now DH tells me I look nice, tells me I'm beautiful (even when know I am NOT) and treats me with respect.

    You don't deserve to be treated that way. You ARE special. If he can't see it, stop losing yourself and just lost him!

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:47 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

  • Maybe try a makeover at a dept store? Try the new nudes. It is minimalist makeup and looks very nice. Clothing should be age appropriate but definitely your choice.

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:05 PM on Jan. 1, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.