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How to tell my un-supportive family I'm pregnant..

I just found out today that I am expecting my 3rd child. My family has been extremely un-supportive with my past pregnancies due to our religious differences. My fiancee and I chose to have a baby before we get married. We don't plan on getting married till August 2016.. It was our decision. We are financial stable and ready for another baby, but we are unsure how to tell my family. It makes me uneasy and I feel stressed just thinking of how my family will respond and what negative things they will say. I have debated about not telling them until I am 30 weeks.. What is your opinion? Would that a bad idea? Would it make things worse? I just want advice on how to tell them.. THANK YOU!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Jan. 2, 2013 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • Congratulations,
    Do you live in the same area that you might accidentally bump into them? Do you talk to them every week or so?
    If the answers to either question is no, the I see no reason why you would have to announce it until you are almost ready to go.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:16 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • I wouldn't tell them. When they find out, tell them that you felt they would have been rude so you didn't feel it was worth the trouble.

    Big hugs... Sometimes family sucks.

    Congratulations!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:17 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • How much do you see them? Just wait tell you have to. Wait tell they notice. Then say Owe I am pregnant.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:47 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Congratulations.  Really the choice is yours, tell them when you're ready. 

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:23 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Congrats!!! a baby is always a blessing!!
    I would tell them so that rumors dont spread, not being told might cause more drama -
    but maybe send a picture post card, email or picture text (of the ultrasound?!) - and say some thing like "We are happy to announce we are expecting another bundle of joy! Please respect our happiness and only send well wishes!! Love Mom Dad "Sibling" "Sibling" & Baby" this way you dont feel obligated to listen to their immediate rude comments in person or over the phone and hopefully after thinking about it for a period of time they will hold off on the rude comments
    Good Luck
    futurebabykar

    Answer by futurebabykar at 10:46 AM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • I would call and tell them, whenthey atart the rudeness say well I knew this would happen have a nice day and hang up
    if in person, simply walk away and tell them until they can support your choice as an adult to live the way you see fit then you will not be going to see them.

    You are an adult adn can do as youplease, my family may not always agree but my parents new line is...we made tons of mistakes growing up and while raising our kids, unless you ask us specifically for advice we will keep our mouths shut. I was so relieved to actually hear that from them LOL
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Congratulations on the news!
    I think the best thing to consider in your situation is that you can't really control their reaction & their reaction isn't wrong, it just is. The more you can make space within yourself for acceptance of whatever happens (in terms of how they react/what opinion they hold), the less you will feel a need to change them or "make" things go differently, or find the "right way."
    Of course there's always room to be pleasantly surprised if things go differently than you assume, but if you are not in the position of struggling, of trying to persuade them or trying to "get them" to see what is unfair or unreasonable in their reaction, you will be stronger & more accepting.
    The feeling that something is "wrong" is what is behind much of our upset & distress.
    Accept that they think what they think, and feel what they feel, and that it disappoints you & it hurts, but it's okay. There is strength in that!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • Congradualations! I agree with RyansMom001; send a postcard of your ultrasound and the expected date of arrival. Whatever their gripes are, they will mull it over with themselves, get past it, and by the time they talk to you, will have excepted it. I had a wise friend who told me once; you can't change other people, you can only change yourself. If others are being negative to you or about things you are doing, then that's their problem. You don't have to prove or justify the things you do to anyone, and have no one to be accountable to but you and the Good Lord. My friend then told me this joke that I've come to live by. "Two men got into an argument inside of a bar. The first man demanded that the second man meet him in the alley out back so they could settle their dispute man to man. The second man replied, "Ok, but if I'm not out there in 5 minutes, start the fight without me." If you're not there, they can't insult you
    Sierrarose99

    Answer by Sierrarose99 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 2, 2013

  • I have a friend who had two children and she and her husband only got married when the oldest child was 12. They planned it that way. They said that if they were going to get married they wanted their children to be old enough to enjoy the party!

    Congratulations!
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:15 AM on Jan. 3, 2013

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