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SD being VERY manipulative... HELP!

A few weeks ago my DH and I were talking to SD's step-dad who is now divorced from her Mother. He was talking a lot of crap about BM and probably rightfully so, but then lastnight DH and I were driving with SD and she was saying all the same things as her step-dad was saying, so naturally we asked her where she was getting all these horrible things she was saying, she told us that she has just noticed all these bad things about her Mom and was seriously bashing her. So when we got SD home we talked to BM about it saying that we think that her ex, (sd's stepdad) was talking bad about her infront of the kids and thought she needed to talk to him and ask if he would please not say bad things about BM infront of them. Well he got mad and said he never says anything like that. But later I found out that while DH and I were talking to BM, SD was inside telling her Grandmother we were diggin for information out of her-More on comment

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Asked by KateInTheSurf at 8:35 PM on Feb. 12, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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  • All we asked her was where she was getting all these horrible things from bcuz I don't think that a 7 year old can come up with all of this stuff. Well I guess she thought she was going to get into trouble for talkin such horrible things about her Mother, so she tried to blame it on us, saying we were diggin for information. But while we were in the car she started that conversation by herself! We then asked her what she was talking about & dropped it until we got to the house. This is not the first time this has happened, she has done this more than once trying to turn parents against eachother so she can get attention. This whole story is kinda here & there so if it doesn't make any sense I'm sorry. I'm trying my best to describe it all. What do I do? should all the parents get together and have an all parents meeting and then confront her about saying what she says about all the parents behind their backs to get attention?

    Answer by KateInTheSurf at 8:42 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I think that if you are all on good terms then get together and talk. You all need to be on the same page when it comes to her. NO child should be allowed to get away with manipulation.

    Answer by coala at 8:46 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I agree! Time for the ENTIRE family (bios, steps, grandparents) to sit down with your SD and talk/explain things clearly! If she knows everyone is in agreement, the manipulation and "stories" will cease.

    She is only 7 years old, and probably just suffering from having to process so many adult issues and this is her way of dealing with the all of the changes. Nip it in the bud by addressing everything as a parental UNIT.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 11:17 AM on Feb. 15, 2009

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